I'm going to attempt the abridged version...
I had a horrible childhood. My Dad was an alcoholic, and my Mom was also a little crazy. They would have these terrible terrible physical fights, that my sisters and I remember from two different perspectives. I remember this one time that my mom was kicking my dad in the face and he had her pinned down on the bed to defend himself. My sister remembers the same fight as though my dad had my mom pinned down on the bed and she was trying to kick him off of her, to defend herself. In other words, we have absolutely no idea....
My parents divorced when I was 16. I have two sisters; one was 18, and the other one was 11. After one or two weekend visits, my Dad pretty much dropped off the face of the earth. We've always believed that he didn't want us. For the last decade or so I've just told people that I don't have a Dad. We all just accepted that he was out of our lives forever and that it was his choice. I have remained close to my paternal grandmother who manages to keep up with him, so we know that he has been in the Los Angeles area for about 15 years.
Just recently, my older sister decided on a whim to contact him, which has since turned into all of us having an email relationship with him for the past month or so. It was really emotional for me at first, but then I became comfortable with the superficial "catching up" type of correspondence we've been having. Finally, last night, he displayed some emotion, remembering things I thought he had forgotten and I decided to give him my phone number.
He just called. It was weird. He sounded different, maybe drunk, maybe not, maybe just old...I don't know. It seemed like he was trying to bring up the past without really bringing it up. It was like he wanted to tell me something, but didn't want to open old wounds. He said something about being told that we never wanted to hear from him again. I couldn't get him to elaborate, but it left me wondering if my mother told him something like that a long time ago, and ran him off. That sounds like something she would do. Knowing her as an adult, I've seen how she manipulates people and situations. Confronting her is not an option, she would go ape-shit if she even knew we were talking to him. As it is, I've had to keep my relationship with my grandmother a secret just to avoid conflict. I don't know what to think or feel. I don't know if I should be angry with my mother. Can anyone please help me put this into perspective? I'm an emotional wreck right now. I don't even have the energy to proofread this so I hope it makes sense...
I had a horrible childhood. My Dad was an alcoholic, and my Mom was also a little crazy. They would have these terrible terrible physical fights, that my sisters and I remember from two different perspectives. I remember this one time that my mom was kicking my dad in the face and he had her pinned down on the bed to defend himself. My sister remembers the same fight as though my dad had my mom pinned down on the bed and she was trying to kick him off of her, to defend herself. In other words, we have absolutely no idea....
My parents divorced when I was 16. I have two sisters; one was 18, and the other one was 11. After one or two weekend visits, my Dad pretty much dropped off the face of the earth. We've always believed that he didn't want us. For the last decade or so I've just told people that I don't have a Dad. We all just accepted that he was out of our lives forever and that it was his choice. I have remained close to my paternal grandmother who manages to keep up with him, so we know that he has been in the Los Angeles area for about 15 years.
Just recently, my older sister decided on a whim to contact him, which has since turned into all of us having an email relationship with him for the past month or so. It was really emotional for me at first, but then I became comfortable with the superficial "catching up" type of correspondence we've been having. Finally, last night, he displayed some emotion, remembering things I thought he had forgotten and I decided to give him my phone number.
He just called. It was weird. He sounded different, maybe drunk, maybe not, maybe just old...I don't know. It seemed like he was trying to bring up the past without really bringing it up. It was like he wanted to tell me something, but didn't want to open old wounds. He said something about being told that we never wanted to hear from him again. I couldn't get him to elaborate, but it left me wondering if my mother told him something like that a long time ago, and ran him off. That sounds like something she would do. Knowing her as an adult, I've seen how she manipulates people and situations. Confronting her is not an option, she would go ape-shit if she even knew we were talking to him. As it is, I've had to keep my relationship with my grandmother a secret just to avoid conflict. I don't know what to think or feel. I don't know if I should be angry with my mother. Can anyone please help me put this into perspective? I'm an emotional wreck right now. I don't even have the energy to proofread this so I hope it makes sense...