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How to Make FN Mac & Cheese
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First of all, none of that instant KD shit. It's FN poison. Besides it isn't really all that faster than making it with real ingredients...

Boil the water, add the mac with a PINCH of salt - don't buy that cheap no name shit either! Not sure how much to make? Take a guess double it. FFS your little spawn are going to inhale it anyway- after all it's FN mac & cheese.

How long do you boil it for? How the fuck would I know? If you live in Denver or Calgary I'm gonna say fn longer than some dude named Jason in Halifax. Besides, I like mine sacrilegiously over done. Al dante? WTF! We're making mac & fucking cheese here and the last time I checked those hungry little fuckers screaming for food don't give a flying fuck about Michelin Stars. Just cook the shit; get it done, get 'm happy!

Gonna put Cheez Whiz in it? Do you normally feed your little child wolves plastic? So just fuck off with that idea right off the hop.

Gonna use pre-shredded cheese like cheddar, mozza, asiago? Go for it, there's only one person that's gonna make America grate again, and that's Trump not you!

Now drain the water off of the now beautiful plump macaroni, add butter, not fucking margarine! FFS this is mac n cheese, the shit ain't healthy to begin with so fuck it. taste over health.

Add the cheese, the more the better.

Stir in whole milk as needed to help make that cheese creamier. NO not that skimmed shit we drink every day of the tri training period - fuck that, taste over mother fucking health. Besides, FFS the little crew of fucking adorable urchins need fat in their fucking diet. It's good for them, makes 'em strong, helps them develop quicker so when can kick the little fuckers out of the house sooner! See win fucking win!

Now, by this time you should have a superbly smooth cheese sauce for that mac n fn cheese. Total awesomeness, except I forgot to put in the 1/2 lb of fucking chopped up alder smoked bacon & fresh mushrooms. Oh and ffs drain the damned bacon fat thoroughly - we want bacon taste not the bacon grease. And for fuck sakes, get your hands off the shitty bacon bits, throw it in the fucking bin on top of that jar of cheez whiz. Holy shit wait! WTF am I gonna eat with the soda crackers later? Fuckfuckfuck - I'm outa cheez whiz!

Now back to the regular programming, stir in the bacon too - toss the mushrooms somewhere, maybe even in the fn mac n cheese! Just don't you fucking dare tell my wife of 23 years it's the one place I don't like fresh fucking mushrooms.

Oh, and some of you assholes will point out this concoction should be baked too, ahhh - don't have fucking kids eh? That's nice, here's your Michelin fucking star!
Last edited by: racin_rusty: Mar 18, 17 5:39
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Re: How to Make FN Mac & Cheese [racin_rusty] [ In reply to ]
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Since you didnt make a roux, enjoy your congealed mess :P
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Re: How to Make FN Mac & Cheese [racin_rusty] [ In reply to ]
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What kind of barbarian uses preshredded cheese?
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Re: How to Make FN Mac & Cheese [racin_rusty] [ In reply to ]
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You forgot to make a bechamel to add the cheese to.
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Re: How to Make FN Mac & Cheese [racin_rusty] [ In reply to ]
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tried to make a nice lobster mac n cheese a while back. Found a recipe that I thought looked fantastic. I put my heart and soul into making this dish, spent about $80 on all the ingredients for this pan of what should have been cheesy goodness. It sucked ass!

Bob Evans ready to cook mac n cheese is delicious, can get the family size on sale for $3, much better than the shit I tried to make!
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Re: How to Make FN Mac & Cheese [racin_rusty] [ In reply to ]
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Instant Fn Pot, the only way to make FN mac and cheese.

--------------------------
The secret of a long life is you try not to shorten it.
-Nobody
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Re: How to Make FN Mac & Cheese [racin_rusty] [ In reply to ]
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BĂ©chamel? BAH!! Start with some cream or whole milk, add cream cheese to make your base sauce, then add some Stilton and good aged cheddar, mustard powder a pinch of granulated garlic and cayenne add noodle of choice season to taste and have at it.

Edit, yes bacon good.
Last edited by: 50+: Mar 18, 17 9:14
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Re: How to Make FN Mac & Cheese [racin_rusty] [ In reply to ]
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Who puts mushrooms in mac n cheese? WTF is wrong with you?
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Re: How to Make FN Mac & Cheese [mck414] [ In reply to ]
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mck414 wrote:
Instant Fn Pot, the only way to make FN mac and cheese.
\


Oh please please tell me you story! We have an FN Cuisinart that I've been working the hell out of! Going to make an FN bean soup of some sort later today.
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Re: How to Make FN Mac & Cheese [RZ] [ In reply to ]
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You don't get past the headlines in magazines very often do you.
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Re: How to Make FN Mac & Cheese [racin_rusty] [ In reply to ]
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This recipe is shit. </pink> Look up Anthony Bourdain's recipe. It's almost exactly what I've been doing by feel for years and happened to find his recipe recently which confirmed that my mac & cheese instincts are pretty much fucking perfect.
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Re: How to Make FN Mac & Cheese [racin_rusty] [ In reply to ]
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i had no idea FN made Mac n Cheese. i've only one of their weapons--will have to look into their food products. thanks!

/r

Steve
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Re: How to Make FN Mac & Cheese [MidwestRoadie] [ In reply to ]
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MidwestRoadie wrote:
This recipe is shit. </pink> Look up Anthony Bourdain's recipe. It's almost exactly what I've been doing by feel for years and happened to find his recipe recently which confirmed that my mac & cheese instincts are pretty much fucking perfect.

Or use Alton Brown's recipe. He has one for stove top and one for baked, and they're both pretty simple.

Slowguy

(insert pithy phrase here...)
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Re: How to Make FN Mac & Cheese [slowguy] [ In reply to ]
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I really said Bourdain's as much for the backdoor brag as anything else. His recipe is what I'd been doing for years just on instinct and without any recipe, lots of trial and error until I nailed it, so I was blown away when I recently saw his recipe and how it's almost lockstep with what I do, more happy because I've always liked Bourdain. Every once in a while I nail a recipe on instinct alone and it's magical, but I usually forget what I did the last time when I try to replicate it.
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Re: How to Make FN Mac & Cheese [slowguy] [ In reply to ]
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slowguy wrote:
MidwestRoadie wrote:
This recipe is shit. </pink> Look up Anthony Bourdain's recipe. It's almost exactly what I've been doing by feel for years and happened to find his recipe recently which confirmed that my mac & cheese instincts are pretty much fucking perfect.

Or use Alton Brown's recipe. He has one for stove top and one for baked, and they're both pretty simple.

I saw that episode too
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Re: How to Make FN Mac & Cheese [Steve Hawley] [ In reply to ]
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Steve Hawley wrote:
i had no idea FN made Mac n Cheese. i've only one of their weapons--will have to look into their food products. thanks!

/r

That's because it's an FN secret!
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Re: How to Make FN Mac & Cheese [racin_rusty] [ In reply to ]
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well played sir!

Steve
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Re: How to Make FN Mac & Cheese [windywave] [ In reply to ]
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windywave wrote:
What kind of barbarian uses preshredded cheese?

The kind with fucking kids to feed not kill.
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Re: How to Make FN Mac & Cheese [racin_rusty] [ In reply to ]
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After reading this, I retract my invitation for beers here. You disgust me!!!


Boil noodles

Roux
Add whole milk
And cheese mix (I like extra strong cheddar, parmesan, and Edam)
Combine everything in a pan
Add bacon bits
Top with bread crumbs
Bake
Stuff face

Long Chile was a silly place.
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Re: How to Make FN Mac & Cheese [BCtriguy1] [ In reply to ]
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Roux? Not enough flour in the mac already? You know I fucking hate white flour right? 12 grains or death!
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Re: How to Make FN Mac & Cheese [racin_rusty] [ In reply to ]
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racin_rusty wrote:
Roux? Not enough flour in the mac already? You know I fucking hate white flour right? 12 grains or death!

I agree, no FN roux! Use cream cheese to thicken your milk, and trust me on this, add a little Stilton and granulated garlic then thank me latter.
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Re: How to Make FN Mac & Cheese [racin_rusty] [ In reply to ]
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racin_rusty wrote:
Roux? Not enough flour in the mac already? You know I fucking hate white flour right? 12 grains or death!

Taste over health
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Re: How to Make FN Mac & Cheese [racin_rusty] [ In reply to ]
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racin_rusty wrote:
windywave wrote:
What kind of barbarian uses preshredded cheese?

The kind with fucking kids to feed not kill.

You can't take five minutes to shred/cube the cheese?
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Re: How to Make FN Mac & Cheese [windywave] [ In reply to ]
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I said if you want to use shredded cheese that it was fine, I didn't say I used it - whilst I can see where someone would ASSume that it was inferred. I'm too fucking cheap to an extra 30% for a machine to shred my cheese, I have a wife to shred my fucking cheese for me and double bonus it makes her feel as though she's contributing to the meal - because she fucking well is!
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Re: How to Make FN Mac & Cheese [racin_rusty] [ In reply to ]
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Please don't tell me you use whole grain noodles or I'll have to reach through my computer screen and bitch slap you in to Saskatchewan.

Long Chile was a silly place.
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