The turnover in soccer refereeing is crazy. When I took a U.S. Soccer coaching course early this year, the instructor said that the number of active referees in the state of Indiana had decreased by about 40% over the last couple of years because of the parents. I think they get paid $20-$25 a game - which is pretty good money for a high school kid, I would think - but it isn't worth the abuse.
My daughters were in a local rec league starting in U10. I ended up coaching because they were desperate for coaches and I managed to pass the background check. I did a lot of self-study, took some courses, got licensed, and did the best I could. In 2 seasons of U10, we did pretty well. In 2 seasons of U12, we didn't win much, but the girls and I had a lot of fun. The league was stacked so the President of the club's daughter's team could win. I had a scrub team of mostly new players, which was fine with me - this is supposed to be about having fun and being part of a team.
I tried an MVP program where I would buy ice cream for an MVP of each game, as voted by the parents. My master plan was to try to get them to focus on watching kids do good things rather than beat up their own kids for everything they did "wrong." Yeah, brilliant plan, Trav. I couldn't get them to even participate in the voting - I was told by one parent that they refused because they weren't allowed to vote for their own kid. So I ended up having the kids vote, which I should have done from the beginning, because the kids really showed some teamwork and compassion - there were times I started to tear up because of why they chose someone as the MVP. Kids can be pretty awesome, even if their parents should have never been allowed to have them. Then I couldn't even get the parents to bring their kid to the ice cream shop after the game so I ended up sending gift certificates to keep my promise to the kids. I'm an unpaid volunteer spending my own time and money. And don't even get me started about the total silence when I asked parents to be an assistant coach, how often they showed up late or not at all without at least letting me know. I don't know how many times I put together a practice plan for a team of 14, only to have 6-8 show up for practice and then have to make up things as I go.
Of course, I had parents tell me that everything I did was wrong because we weren't winning enough. One parent suggested that I needed to bench the kids that sucked, if they didn't show up for practice they got benched, and that's what he did when he coached flag football a few years ago.
One parent told me that our practices went too long and I needed to respect her time. I reminded her that they were optional and the kids can leave whenever they need to - this is rec league soccer, so I completely understand that we have other things going on in life. As long as the kids have fun, I'll be there for them and will stick around if they want to play a little longer. Her response was to repeat, "well, you need to respect MY time!" I had to turn and walk away, I was so mad. I reported a couple of parents to the President of the league.
When my daughter said "Dad, I want to try something different" after our spring season, I was so relieved. Never again. Most of the parents were really good and nice people. Even some of the dickheads meant well. But, it just takes a couple of assholes to ruin it for everybody.
Travis Rassat
Vector Cycle Works Noblesville, IN
BikeFit Instructor | FMS | F.I.S.T. | IBFI
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