especially because some people try to take it seriously, .

Agreed. We need to make one for Triathletes.

OK here are some rules that I would propose:
1) No eating on rides that are less than 4 hours, or on runs than are less than 2.
2) When training (or racing) with cyclists, runners or swimmers follow THEIR rules
3) No stickers or tattoos unless you won the race in question. (An AG podium is not sufficient).
USAT "all American stickers are an exception. (No one knows, or will know, what they are for anyway, so therefore they are ok).
4) Branded race gear can be worn only if you didn't pay for it. You cannot buy race shirts, cycling team jerseys etc.
5) If you are wearing branded race gear (that you obtained for free) and some asks you about it -
you MUST feign ignorance.
"I don't remember how I got this Kona world championship hat"
6) You can suck at triathlon and still be a good runner, cyclist or swimmer. And you ARE allowed to brag about these things.
7) But if you suck at triathlon, swimming, running, AND cycling- you are permitted NO self- aggrandizement at all on other subjects.
You might have "beautiful muscles", you might bench press 300 lbs, you may have played varsity baseball.
But you are still a crappy triathlete - so shut up.
8) You can only race and defeat worthy competitors.
So sure- go ahead and out sprint the 80 year old lady at the finish line.
What you are saying is she is a "worthy competitor"
9) If you are within 3 feet of the start line of the swim- you forfeit your right to complain about people swimming over you.
10) Peeing and pooping on yourself is permissible (but undesirable) if you are contending for a podium or a significant PR. (It is always permissible while swimming. Unless someone else is liable to feel the heat).
11) Racing and training clothes should "match well" with sweat, blood and vomit.

Agreed. We need to make one for Triathletes.

Easy - only one rule!

#1 - HTFU

http://badig.com/...-being-a-triathlete/

Agreed. We need to make one for Triathletes.

Isn't that rule #5?

Yes, but some would argue it is the only rule.

Agreed. We need to make one for Triathletes.

http://www.velominati.com/the-rules

This deserves its own thread.

A ton of useful advice here.

Some of my favorites:
Rule #7 Tan lines should be cultivated and kept razor sharp.
Rule#12 The correct number of bikes to own is n + 1. (Or you should own 1 bike LESS than the number that would cause a divorce).
Rule # 25 The bikes on top of your car should be worth more than the car.
Rule # 91 No eating on rides under 4 hours

REMEMBER: For every Runner/Triathlete - or doctor - who says there is absolutely one single and perfect way to do anything [and they have the data to support it], there is another Runner/Triathlete - or doctor - who will say that way of doing whatever it may be, is completely and absolutely wrong [and they have the data to support it, as well]