life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice?

Jan 3, 18 23:47

Post #1 of 83 Views: 6268

So I wrecked my 7 year old road bike on saturday. Derailleur hangar snapped while riding and the derailleur broke the seat stays and chain stays on my main bike. I have gone back to riding my spare bike ( an old Cannondale CAAD 4 that is wayyy too small) and have a TT bike for TTs and Tris. I do race alot of road races though, so I will need a new race bike sooner or later.

While looking for a replacement I've been offered a really good superbike deal by my local sponsor shop- a Bianchi Oltre XR4 framset for almost half price. it's a smoking deal I'm not likely to get again and the oltre is really a bike I've lusted after. I could buy something cheaper- after all a superbike frame at half price is still a relatively big expense- but the price is really good.

Thing is, I'm also saving for a house and my wedding next year. spending on a bike isn't really going to wreck those plans, because I've been disciplined- I already have a good amount squirreled away (~$50k for a downpayment on a house and renovations, ~$12k for wedding costs, and my fiancee is chipping in a similar amount for both), but any little bit I can put away would help given these large expenses in about a year's time. This wasn't a planned expense though, so I'd have to dip into some of my spare cash and live abit lean for the next few months.

Slowtwitchers who have had more life experience... your thoughts?

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 0:33

Post #2 of 83 Views: 6232

I bought a super bike as a wedding present to myself. Same cost as the engagement ring so it evens out.. I made sure I kept my savings for the bike separate.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 0:35

Post #3 of 83 Views: 6229

Certainly I always stare with wonder and incomprehension at people's lavish spending on a single day of their lives. Many tens of $1000's on basically being queen for a day, feeding a load of tenuous acquaintances, and financially hobbling yourselves as you embark on adult life... That money could kit out your house, or buy a couple of cars, or be holidays for the next 5 years... Or buy a bike and still be the above....

Some of my friends had lavish weddings, some of their marriages are already over. Money well spent?. It's easy to express the same love in a small, private legal ceremony where you aren't under pressure to spend $500 on special napkin rings and another $1000 on harp players FFS. I went the cheap route and i'm still married 15 years later and we don't regret our way of doing it for a second.

A long way of saying - buy the bike. You always need your toys.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 1:04

Post #4 of 83 Views: 6207

If she loves you and it was meant to be she will understand...

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [Shambolic] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 1:11

Post #5 of 83 Views: 6199

Shambolic wrote:

If she loves you and it was meant to be she will understand...

this 100%

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [RCCo] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 1:16

Post #6 of 83 Views: 6193

Fortunately (or unfortunately) I am marrying an asian girl. Asians have a strong tradition where a fancy wedding dinner is pretty much the norm, so its a non negotiable here. We arent planning anything very fancy by asian standards, trust me. Just a 'medium sized' wedding.

The thing is, it's also in asian culture for wedding guests to give a token of blessing to the couple and this usually takes the form of cash. Most guests usually cover the cost of their seat at the wedding dinner and I expect to recover most of the wedding expenses.

In Reply To:

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [Shambolic] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 1:25

Post #7 of 83 Views: 6177

Shambolic wrote:

If she loves you and it was meant to be she will understand...

Couldn't agree more! And that understanding is why my house fund has just been used to order my crash replacement bike that the insurance company are arguing over and may never pay out fully for.

Along with the first reply!

I will be asking my GF to marry me and I know that we will be spending next to nothing on the wedding. Yes we will want to celebrate it with our friends but that doesnt need to involve spending thousands on napkin rings(love that!!) and other useless rubbish that serves no purpose. We will be using the 'wedding' money for some nice additions to the house we plan to buy.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 1:30

Post #8 of 83 Views: 6173

You're choosing a *Bianchi* over your future-wife? Priorities man...

Ordinarily I'd tell someone to suck it up and look after their future, but you sound like you have it financially sorted, and you've made a few sacrifices to get there. So buy the frameset and make yourself happy. It won't do either of you any good to have you feeling like you 'could have' had the bike that you wanted.

Just make sure that your wife can go out and buy something she's been wanting, whatever that is. (If she can think about anything other than her wedding - I've just had this same scenario. The wedding was wonderful, we're saving for a house, and I'm putting a bit away for a P3 to replace my old Quintana Roo.)

'It never gets easier, you just get crazier.'

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [georged] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 1:59

Post #9 of 83 Views: 6143

For balance you should probably also ask this question on a less "male" forum ;)

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 2:02

Post #10 of 83 Views: 6140

davidalone wrote:

So I wrecked my 7 year old road bike on saturday. Derailleur hangar snapped while riding and the derailleur broke the seat stays and chain stays on my main bike. I have gone back to riding my spare bike ( an old Cannondale CAAD 4 that is wayyy too small) and have a TT bike for TTs and Tris. I do race alot of road races though, so I will need a new race bike sooner or later.

While looking for a replacement I've been offered a really good superbike deal by my local sponsor shop- a Bianchi Oltre XR4 framset for almost half price. it's a smoking deal I'm not likely to get again and the oltre is really a bike I've lusted after. I could buy something cheaper- after all a superbike frame at half price is still a relatively big expense- but the price is really good.

Thing is, I'm also saving for a house and my wedding next year. spending on a bike isn't really going to wreck those plans, because I've been disciplined- I already have a good amount squirreled away (~$50k for a downpayment on a house and renovations, ~$12k for wedding costs, and my fiancee is chipping in a similar amount for both), but any little bit I can put away would help given these large expenses in about a year's time. This wasn't a planned expense though, so I'd have to dip into some of my spare cash and live abit lean for the next few months.

Slowtwitchers who have had more life experience... your thoughts?

We know enough about bikes. I don't know enough about your fiancé to give you advice.

If she is not going to make you poor and divorce you in the future, it's a tougher call. If she is like women who file for divorce to cash out, then no.

Indoor Triathlete - I thought I was right, until I realized I was wrong.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [IT] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 2:46

Post #11 of 83 Views: 6106

She out earns me by quite abit and that is going to remain for the forseeable future, so I don't see that as a very high likelihood of happening.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [IT] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 3:12

Post #12 of 83 Views: 6067

IT wrote:

....We know enough about bikes. I don't know enough about your fiancé to give you advice.

If she is not going to make you poor and divorce you in the future, it's a tougher call. If she is like women who file for divorce to cash out, then no.

While I find this whole thread odd (asking on a public forum about how to manage your personal life has always seemed pretty odd to me), this comment in particular just seems weird.

Surely those two queries about his fiance are reasons whether or not to marry her rather than whether or not to buy a bike!

It reads like you think women come in these two options and you're asking which he ordered! If it's not stated on the order confirmation, how can he tell which type he's got? ;)

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 3:26

Post #13 of 83 Views: 6048

Have you gotten a professional fitting yet? You need to make sure the measurements on that ride work before you make the investment.

Oh, and make sure the Bianchi fits too.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 3:36

Post #14 of 83 Views: 6033

Discuss it with her and make the decision together. I have a lot of life experience and this is what I would do. It doesn't matter what people on an internet forum think you should do.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [JRTX] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 4:06

Post #15 of 83 Views: 5983

I can only second this advice.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [Ai_1] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 4:11

Post #16 of 83 Views: 5968

Ai_1 wrote:

IT wrote:

....We know enough about bikes. I don't know enough about your fiancé to give you advice.

If she is not going to make you poor and divorce you in the future, it's a tougher call. If she is like women who file for divorce to cash out, then no.

While I find this whole thread odd (asking on a public forum about how to manage your personal life has always seemed pretty odd to me), this comment in particular just seems weird.

Surely those two queries about his fiance are reasons whether or not to marry her rather than whether or not to buy a bike!

It reads like you think women come in these two options and you're asking which he ordered! If it's not stated on the order confirmation, how can he tell which type he's got? ;)

You've seen some of the other stuff he's posted, right?

Citizen of the world, former drunkard. Resident Traumatic Brain Injury advocate.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 4:19

Post #17 of 83 Views: 5957

[pink]Do you see yourself riding your wife in another 7 years?[/pink]

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [mspeas] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 4:23

Post #18 of 83 Views: 5953

I have found this strategy works well and if you have good negotiation skills will work dividends whilst retaining trust. I am in similar position with wife earning a bit more than me, but have discussed my way to a second hand TT bike and Assioma power meter - both ideas were initially shot down in flames but I persevered without being a tool about it. Being switched on about deals when they come up also works well...

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [Richard Blaine] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 4:56

Post #19 of 83 Views: 5880

Richard Blaine wrote:

Ai_1 wrote:

IT wrote:

....We know enough about bikes. I don't know enough about your fiancé to give you advice.

If she is not going to make you poor and divorce you in the future, it's a tougher call. If she is like women who file for divorce to cash out, then no.

While I find this whole thread odd (asking on a public forum about how to manage your personal life has always seemed pretty odd to me), this comment in particular just seems weird.

Surely those two queries about his fiance are reasons whether or not to marry her rather than whether or not to buy a bike!

It reads like you think women come in these two options and you're asking which he ordered! If it's not stated on the order confirmation, how can he tell which type he's got? ;)

You've seen some of the other stuff he's posted, right?

Fair point. I shouldn't be too surprised.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 5:00

Post #20 of 83 Views: 5871

davidalone wrote:

Fortunately (or unfortunately) I am marrying an asian girl. Asians have a strong tradition where a fancy wedding dinner is pretty much the norm, so its a non negotiable here. We arent planning anything very fancy by asian standards, trust me. Just a 'medium sized' wedding.

The thing is, it's also in asian culture for wedding guests to give a token of blessing to the couple and this usually takes the form of cash. Most guests usually cover the cost of their seat at the wedding dinner and I expect to recover most of the wedding expenses.

In Reply To:

Our wedding was pretty low-key. It was still expensive for a one-day affair, but we wanted to avoid anything that seemed overly fancy, gaudy, extravagant, etc. That didn't fit either of our's tastes. And yeah, she's Asian. Other weddings we've gone to on her side have been fancier than ours, but not by *that* much.

I will concur that most of the guests on her side gave us cash as a gift.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [Bob Loblaw] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 5:17

Post #21 of 83 Views: 5814

Get the bike.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 5:30

Post #22 of 83 Views: 5784

davidalone wrote:

Fortunately (or unfortunately) I am marrying an asian girl. Asians have a strong tradition where a fancy wedding dinner is pretty much the norm, so its a non negotiable here. We arent planning anything very fancy by asian standards, trust me. Just a 'medium sized' wedding.

The thing is, it's also in asian culture for wedding guests to give a token of blessing to the couple and this usually takes the form of cash. Most guests usually cover the cost of their seat at the wedding dinner and I expect to recover most of the wedding expenses.

It's also "Asian tradition" for the bride's family to pay for the wedding. ;)

Last edited by: aravilare: Jan 4, 18 5:30

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 5:42

Post #23 of 83 Views: 5743

If you’re asking us if it’s right it’s probably wrong

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [JRTX] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 5:45

Post #24 of 83 Views: 5735

JRTX wrote:

Discuss it with her and make the decision together. I have a lot of life experience and this is what I would do. It doesn't matter what people on an internet forum think you should do.

This

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 5:58

Post #25 of 83 Views: 5713

It's pretty simple...you ask her what she thinks. If you buy this bike and she's against it, it will be the most expensive bike ever.

Right now...no kids (I assume)...no house...this is the time to buy a relatively luxury item.

In my situation...if my wife really wanted something I thought was stupid I'd get it for her if I could...and she has never balked at the price tags of my stupid bike purchases, but the ones I make are generally ones I've planned on for a long time and get a lot of use out of.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 6:11

Post #26 of 83 Views: 3128

You're getting married. Disagreements and stress over money are one of the biggest causes of the failure of marriages. Any large purchases need to be discussed between the 2 of you, or you are setting yourselves up for a whole lotta problems.

The other thing is that it forces you to justify the purchase to yourself, and then to someone else. In my case, there are a bunch of things I might have bought on an impulse, but didn't because I couldn't justify to myself, let alone to my wife.

Swimming Workout of the Day:

Favourite Swim Sets:

2020 National Masters Champion - M50-54 - 50m Butterfly

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 6:18

Post #27 of 83 Views: 3121

Congrats on having a soon to be wife that makes more then you. I'm in the same boat but have been married for 2.5 years. I don't understand why so many people are insecure enough that it bothers them that their wife makes more.

Think of it this way, you did buy an engagement ring right? The bike is your engagement ring and you should get a bike that fits you. And since your soon to be bride does so well maybe she wants to get you your engagement bike! Talk her into that and you're ahead of the game.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 7:59

Post #28 of 83 Views: 3084

Be glad that it's not our household where both of us cycle and new bike day has to be a bike each :D

Are your finances mingled? Ours are so any big purchase would always involve a discussion. If they're not it's a slightly different conversation but either way worth talking about it to set up precedents for when you are married.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 8:07

Post #29 of 83 Views: 3072

If you buy the bike, get it before you get married. Girlfriends/fiances are a lot more forgiving than wives!

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [Scheherazade] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 8:08

Post #30 of 83 Views: 3072

Right now? no. But the plan is that they will be once we are married. We would each have our own accounts but also a common account.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 8:15

Post #31 of 83 Views: 3061

You know your fiancee best to judge how she would react but personally, if it's coming out of your own money and will have no impact on her, then I would think you get the bike and eat beans for the next 6 months.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 8:26

Post #32 of 83 Views: 3053

If you are planning to continue triathlon after you get married, get the bike or a bike. Have the conversation and it should work out. It is cost of the sport. You can always wait on some upgrades to the house. If you don't get what you want. You are going to be replacing the bike in a few years because you will regret the purchase.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 8:46

Post #33 of 83 Views: 3033

Her equivalent purchase is a $3-4000 purse. How much did her current purse cost? Asians are big on status symbols. You should sell it like its a status symbol in the biking culture you are a part of and she will understand also explain the finances of it. Retail vs your cost and then how many years you will use it so it costs you x dollar per year. Asian are analytical and will understand. I date an Asian girl and if she drives a Mercedes and has an expensive purse you are good to go.

Last edited by: Gonefishin5555: Jan 14, 18 17:09

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 8:47

Post #34 of 83 Views: 3030

davidalone wrote:

She out earns me by quite abit and that is going to remain for the forseeable future, so I don't see that as a very high likelihood of happening.

Congrats to you. You will probably be alright with either decision then. However, if you think getting a new bike before marriage may give her a bad vibe and wonder about you, then wait until afterwards.

Men are the new women. In my personal space, I know of three out of three professional men in their 30s marrying up to higher earning women. It used to be (I'm in my 60s) that men and women would start out the same education/pay wise then the guys would pass them by not leaving the workforce for any reason - because they had families to support. The professional performance pressure was on the men at one time. It's much less so now.

The cashing out was a reference to the biblical "prodigal father" whose family couldn't wait for him to die to get the money. Many divorces today are like that with women filing between 70-80 percent of the time. That would really screw with your sporting life later on.

Best wishes, way to go and you are my hero now.

Indoor Triathlete - I thought I was right, until I realized I was wrong.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [IT] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 10:20

Post #35 of 83 Views: 2989

If your fiance knows money is tight for the wedding and discovers that you have just blown a bunch money on a fancy bike without clearing it with her, you are going to be summarily executed. I know buying the bike would be fun, but the fact that you've posted this thread indicates to me that you are having second thoughts. The fact that you seem hesitant to discuss this with your finance directly is another warning sign. Listen to your head on this. People lose their minds about weddings, it's not the time to light a fire... IMO. Save your dough.

Also, the Oltre? Meh. Just my opinion. First of all, I personally don't like the bike all that much. But that's me. More relevant for you: this is a standard, mass produced model. It's going to go on sale again at some point.

Lastly: to everyone here advising him to save money on the wedding, you are aware that the groom has exactly zero input into most wedding decisions, correct?

Last edited by: hiro11: Jan 4, 18 13:29

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 11:12

Post #36 of 83 Views: 2960

Just come up with a really long mathematical equation that shows your really not spending any money on a new bike, or just tell her you don't want to pass up on this crazy deal and that your going to sell one of your current bikes to offset the price and never sell it.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 11:19

Post #37 of 83 Views: 2951

You can always buy 2-5 year old superduperbike framesets on craigslist or various online forums (Paceline) for <$1000.
Despite lots of marketing claims, road bikes are pretty mature in terms of things that would actually affect performance. No need to get this years model unless you just really have an emotional need. For me, its a no brainer to buy used and save for home ownership (we paid our home off in March!). My own wedding was dirt cheap but that's another topic.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 12:33

Post #38 of 83 Views: 2925

The biggest question you need to ask yourself is what you are going to do if you break the xr4? Crashes happen on the road and if you're this worried about buying a $5000 frame in the first place how are you going to feel replacing it?

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [Gonefishin5555] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 12:35

Post #39 of 83 Views: 2925

Gonefishin5555 wrote:

Asians are big on status symbols... Asian are analytical and will understand...

Dude WTF?

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 13:00

Post #40 of 83 Views: 2910

davidalone wrote:

Right now? no. But the plan is that they will be once we are married. We would each have our own accounts but also a common account.

My wife and I have a similar arrangement, and have disparate income levels. We calculate the total household expenses and pay into the common account that % of our income variance, so that in "theory" we have similar left over spending cash. With that individual money, and with the common bills paid, the rule states it is up to that person to spend on whatever they want without judgement or concern from the spouse on their own monies. This arrangement sure makes those financial discussions easier now, and the financial discussions are one of the hardest discussions and point of contention in marriages.

Good luck with whatever bike decisions you make, and starting a new life together.

One tip I've stumbled upon: hand-write your bride a letter / card every week, and mail it to her on the same day every week. Get into that habit. Let her get the mail. Content doesn't matter; your topics will change weekly to whatever is on your mind. But it will (hopefully) be your wife's best-treasured gift and it will help you develop a sense of gratitude towards yourself and the marriage

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 13:11

Post #41 of 83 Views: 2907

Get the bike. You'll be happier and healthier and, thus, a better husband.

Shawn
TORRE Consulting Services, LLC
http://www.TORREcs.com

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 18:08

Post #42 of 83 Views: 2854

I had a simlar situation years ago. How about saving for both together. A little toward each at a time.

FWIW, I don't know how you could "only" spend $12k on a wedding and whatever you think you need for a DP on a house, you will need more to close, move, buy furniture, do renovations etc. Obviously, I don't know your price point but since I have bought/sold several houses, I can safely say it will cost more than you plan no matter how careful that planning may be!

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [DFW_Tri] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 18:28

Post #43 of 83 Views: 2839

DFW_Tri wrote:

I had a simlar situation years ago. How about saving for both together. A little toward each at a time.

FWIW, I don't know how you could "only" spend $12k on a wedding and whatever you think you need for a DP on a house, you will need more to close, move, buy furniture, do renovations etc. Obviously, I don't know your price point but since I have bought/sold several houses, I can safely say it will cost more than you plan no matter how careful that planning may be!

+1! I would plan on AT LEAST 10-15K beyond the "down payment" no matter what size house you buy. Those closing costs will eat you alive. And, you'll have insurance, taxes, and all sorts of new expenses to go along with it in your first year.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 19:21

Post #44 of 83 Views: 2813

Hello davidalone and All,

I think the bride is at your local sponsor shop right now buying that Bianchi Oltre XR4 framset for almost half price as a surprise present to you.

Be sure the bike shop knows your proper size and perhaps give her a small hint or two or three ...... I think color is celeste (sky blue) but is really green if that helps.

So you should not buy the Bianchi Oltre XR4 framset for almost half price now ....... as you will have two of the same bike ..... hmmmmmmm .... then again ..... always nice to have a spare ...... but no ...... that would spoil her surprise for you ..... but but .... at half price .......... no don't do it ..... but what if someone else buys it before she completes the purchase? ........ and what will you ride in the meantime? .....

You handle davidalone is not a good sign .... if you screw this up.

Do not worry ....... these things have a way of working out .....

Cheers, Neal

+1 mph Faster

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 19:26

Post #45 of 83 Views: 2809

!!! T H E B I K E !!!

(yeah guess what I divorced)

NO

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 4, 18 22:04

Post #46 of 83 Views: 2767

Neither. And don't buy an expensive ring either. It's a scam.

Do you want a wedding? Or do you want a marriage?

As for the bike, if you have to choose between a wedding and a bike you should probably get a road bike with 105 and enjoy riding that. Save your money for the house and other living expenses.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 5, 18 1:14

Post #47 of 83 Views: 2743

As a newlywed with a broken bike, I can sympathize. Within a year I lost my top-of-the-line MTB (house broken into), my Speed Concept (broken last week) and got married. Now I've got just a low-end Trek alu bike.

If you're going to recover most of the wedding expenses anyway (we did, and thanks to some generous guests even ended up with a nice chunk of change) - you might as well buy the bike. Or, buy a quality alloy race frame (Bowman, CAAD12, etc) for next to nothing and race that until after the wedding.

ZONE3 - We Last Longer

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [tessar] [ In reply to ]

Jan 5, 18 1:52

Post #48 of 83 Views: 2732

Buy the bike, but discuss it beforehand as you are now a team. In the nest 50 years you'll both go through all kinds of adventures involving good times, bad times, kids, births, deaths, money, no money, illness, stress, cycling so you've got to get into the habit of thinking and acting like a team. If you sneak off and buy a bike that's not good. If you discuss it and persuade her that it's a good idea it helps you be really sure of the decision as well.

As soon as you're married normal life carries on in the same way as before. There is no difference to your daily life just because you have a ring on your finger, so you'll still need to go riding, and you'll need a bike. What you don't need is to come home to difficult tense situations because you didn't act like a team player...

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [RCCo] [ In reply to ]

Jan 5, 18 2:09

Post #49 of 83 Views: 2727

Thank you for the advice everyone. Here to clear up some misconceptions:

I should have mentioned that I have told her about the offer of the frameset. She said it was my money and it was fine what I did with it. I do feel guilty because she earns more though.

Regarding the bike- I'd like to repeat its not a 5000 dollar bike. Its a 5000 dollar frameset I'm getting at half that,

In Reply To:

Wedding- we arent doing anything extravagant, but it will still cost a decent bit of change for a single day expense. I do get some say, and we've already more or less agreed on most of the large ticket items what our budget will be.

Regarding how much I am putting away for the house- I technically only need about 7k for the downpayment. As mentioned I have about 50k for renovations, furniture, and to reduce the mortgage. Fiancee is chipping in another 50k, so we have 100k set aside for initial housing expenses combined, plus anything we put aside between now and signing the deed.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 5, 18 3:36

Post #50 of 83 Views: 2712

davidalone wrote:

So I wrecked my 7 year old road bike on saturday. Derailleur hangar snapped while riding and the derailleur broke the seat stays and chain stays on my main bike. I have gone back to riding my spare bike ( an old Cannondale CAAD 4 that is wayyy too small) and have a TT bike for TTs and Tris. I do race alot of road races though, so I will need a new race bike sooner or later.

While looking for a replacement I've been offered a really good superbike deal by my local sponsor shop- a Bianchi Oltre XR4 framset for almost half price. it's a smoking deal I'm not likely to get again and the oltre is really a bike I've lusted after. I could buy something cheaper- after all a superbike frame at half price is still a relatively big expense- but the price is really good.

Thing is, I'm also saving for a house and my wedding next year. spending on a bike isn't really going to wreck those plans, because I've been disciplined- I already have a good amount squirreled away (~$50k for a downpayment on a house and renovations, ~$12k for wedding costs, and my fiancee is chipping in a similar amount for both), but any little bit I can put away would help given these large expenses in about a year's time. This wasn't a planned expense though, so I'd have to dip into some of my spare cash and live abit lean for the next few months.

Slowtwitchers who have had more life experience... your thoughts?

$24k for a wedding? Postpone it and stick the money on your mortgage.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 5, 18 3:44

Post #51 of 83 Views: 3087

Just curious how old you are and what your background is.

David
* Ironman for Life! (Blog) * IM Everyday Hero Video * Daggett Shuler Law *
Disclaimer: I have personal and professional relationships with many athletes, vendors, and organizations in the triathlon world.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 5, 18 3:47

Post #52 of 83 Views: 3087

davidalone wrote:

Fortunately (or unfortunately) I am marrying an asian girl. Asians have a strong tradition where a fancy wedding dinner is pretty much the norm, so its a non negotiable here. We arent planning anything very fancy by asian standards, trust me. Just a 'medium sized' wedding.

The thing is, it's also in asian culture for wedding guests to give a token of blessing to the couple and this usually takes the form of cash. Most guests usually cover the cost of their seat at the wedding dinner and I expect to recover most of the wedding expenses.

I married an Asian girl. We got married at the courthouse because neither of us wanted a wedding, and certainly not to pay for it.

I am also aware of your second point. That being the case, if you expect to recover the expenses, why is this a question? If the wedding is revenue-neutral, you aren't facing a choice between it and the bike as you pose.

Let me also say, "tradition" is a piss-poor reason to make a bad decision.

The point is, ladies and gentleman, that speed, for lack of a better word, is good. Speed is right, Speed works. Speed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit.

Last edited by: Toby: Jan 5, 18 3:53

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [david] [ In reply to ]

Jan 5, 18 7:43

Post #53 of 83 Views: 3045

29, engineer. She's 30, a doctor. I'm middle class, her family is pretty rich.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [Toby] [ In reply to ]

Jan 5, 18 7:50

Post #54 of 83 Views: 3039

'Tradition' in asian families is not really a stupid reason. Tradition typically involves the parents, and you do not want to start your wedding off with a war with the in-laws. If you can make them happy with a relatively net-nuetral financial spend, and give your wife a nice wedding, why not?

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 5, 18 8:03

Post #55 of 83 Views: 3034

I think you guys will be fine moving forward........buy the bike

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 5, 18 9:32

Post #56 of 83 Views: 3020

Quote:

The thing is, it's also in asian culture for wedding guests to give a token of blessing to the couple and this usually takes the form of cash. Most guests usually cover the cost of their seat at the wedding dinner and I expect to recover most of the wedding expenses.

Adopt a World Triathlon Corporation perspective and maximize the revenue producing potential for your wedding. Think merchandising - coffee mugs, beach towels, ugly Christmas sweaters, All Wedding Attendee (AWA) gear......This will pay for your bike.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [RCCo] [ In reply to ]

Jan 5, 18 9:44

Post #57 of 83 Views: 3011

RCCo wrote:

For balance you should probably also ask this question on a less "male" forum ;)

This woman says buy the bike. Especially if I get a new one out of the deal as well.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 5, 18 10:26

Post #58 of 83 Views: 2998

David-

I was almost literally in your same position last November. Asian fiancee with a doctorate (not MD) and a family that wanted a huge wedding, and we had a comparable amount of money saved for both a wedding and a house in a joint account. I wanted a 3-4k dollar bike.

We typically discuss any large purchases and she basically told me the same thing your future wife told you. "It's your money, buy the bike if you want. You spend a lot of time on it and you better use it for the next 5 years."

So I bought the bike with my personal savings (although I'm sure she would have given me a temp loan if I needed it). I will note that she did spend a few grand on something for herself - with her money. We also had a discussion about that before she spent the money. As long as you both believe you can afford it without compromising other priorities AND she gives you the go ahead, don't feel guilty. Buy the bike - just don't ask to upgrade the wheels two months later.

Also, I wouldn't plan on recouping the money from the wedding. You might (we did) - but treat it like an unexpected bonus. Buy one or two nice things that you both want and stash the rest.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [bearlyfinish] [ In reply to ]

Jan 5, 18 12:31

Post #59 of 83 Views: 2980

Do the best stuff first:
1) Have sex
2) Train.......
......
......
Etc.)
.....
36,456) Go shopping for crap (marital or triathlon related)

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 5, 18 13:22

Post #60 of 83 Views: 2953

half off that biachi is more than it is worth.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 5, 18 15:56

Post #61 of 83 Views: 2917

Didn't comb through the whole thing, but buy the bike you want before you get married. Gonna be much harder after.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 7, 18 4:52

Post #62 of 83 Views: 2837

If you have to ask this forum for this answer then you know your wrong.

No bike.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 7, 18 5:20

Post #63 of 83 Views: 2822

Ask me how much I love my Kiwami LD Aero Trisuit

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [Shambolic] [ In reply to ]

Jan 7, 18 5:51

Post #64 of 83 Views: 2809

Shambolic wrote:

If she loves you and it was meant to be she will understand...

Agreed!

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [Cento] [ In reply to ]

Jan 7, 18 6:17

Post #65 of 83 Views: 2802

Agreed, do not buy the bike.

Cento wrote:

If you have to ask this forum for this answer then you know your wrong.

No bike.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 7, 18 17:25

Post #66 of 83 Views: 2751

I think you're asking the wrong question... the bike is a given. You should probably be asking how many upgrades you can afford. Don't forget the wheels!

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 7, 18 17:52

Post #67 of 83 Views: 2734

Put me down for the bike. I can't rationalize marriage as anything other than an expensive day of symbolism for the families, that gets more expensive when it fails. Bike.

---------------------------------------------------------------

https://connect.garmin.com/modern/profile/domingjm

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [Leavitt] [ In reply to ]

Jan 7, 18 17:58

Post #68 of 83 Views: 2731

Haha. So good.

Leavitt wrote:

---------------------------------------------------------------

https://connect.garmin.com/modern/profile/domingjm

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Jan 12, 18 13:44

Post #69 of 83 Views: 2627

Sounds like you've gotten a pretty clear answer to your question, but I'll add my personal experience...

I got married in 2014 and financed almost all of it along with paying off my wife's student loans. Already owned a home that she moved into after we said 'I do.' That year I got a nice tax return and my wife encouraged me to buy a new bike. Only spent like $1200 on it, but it felt damn good to spend a little money on myself.

You've been diligent and it sounds like you've covered your bases financially. Get the bike. You gotta enjoy your money from time to time as well. Plus you're marrying a MD, you'll be just fine ;)

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [quadomatic] [ In reply to ]

Aug 13, 18 3:36

Post #70 of 83 Views: 2280

thought I'd give an update.

We talked it over, she said it was fine if I bought it. But there was some hesitation I could sense.

Fast forward 6 months when I'm about to pull the trigger- She says not to buy the bike and to wait till after the wedding.
Now obviously I was pretty bummed to hear this, but then I find out from my Brother in law (who knows bikes) she's been conspiring with him to actually buy me the bike as a birthday gift. Obviously though, she can't get it at the discount I can get- So eventually she tells me to buy it but she's paying for it.

TLDR: I am marrying an awesome woman.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Aug 13, 18 4:30

Post #71 of 83 Views: 2236

davidalone wrote:

29, engineer. She's 30, a doctor. I'm middle class, her family is pretty rich.

If you have not talked about having/not having kids yet that's the more important discussion. She's 30 if you are going to have kids soon is the best time given fertility etc falls off precipitously after 35. And if she is in a high workload specialty you might be doing alot of the kid stuff. If you are going to have kids you probably won't be riding the bike that much! Unless you are going the nanny route. Financially meh you will be fine.

They constantly try to escape from the darkness outside and within
Dreaming of systems so perfect that no one will need to be good T.S. Eliot

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Aug 13, 18 5:07

Post #72 of 83 Views: 2189

davidalone wrote:

thought I'd give an update.

We talked it over, she said it was fine if I bought it. But there was some hesitation I could sense.

Fast forward 6 months when I'm about to pull the trigger- She says not to buy the bike and to wait till after the wedding.
Now obviously I was pretty bummed to hear this, but then I find out from my Brother in law (who knows bikes) she's been conspiring with him to actually buy me the bike as a birthday gift. Obviously though, she can't get it at the discount I can get- So eventually she tells me to buy it but she's paying for it.

TLDR: I am marrying an awesome woman.

Wauw, what a beautiful ending to this whole thing :)
That is pretty damn reassuring "event", going into a marriage!

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Aug 13, 18 5:37

Post #73 of 83 Views: 2165

Very nice, she is awesome indeed! But her awesomeness may not have eventuated if you didn't speak to her about it... I'd be pretty pissed off if soon to be hubby went off to buy a bike that costed a few grand whilst we were saving for a wedding and mortgage (even if we were financially secure)... the main issue would be the lack of communication and compromise. So welcome to Team M = Married life. Where life is a regular and constant juggle between these two C words. Breathe and live those words, is my mantra...

Also, in Asian culture - weddings are an important family and community event. It is about uniting two families together, with a couple getting married thrown in. You are a good gwailo to follow her family's lead on this.

Congrats on the bike, married life and awesome wife :)

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Aug 13, 18 8:19

Post #74 of 83 Views: 2100

Lavish weddings are okay, but who are they really for? All you really do is give free food and drinks to your friends. You could easily have a party after your wedding to celebrate with your friends and family. I had a lavish wedding the first time and was divorced 7 years later. My wife and I got married at the court house for our second marriages and couldn’t be happier. Buy the bike, you are going to use it all the time, not one day.
However, you might want to get the opinion of the only one that really counts, your future wife.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Aug 13, 18 9:01

Post #75 of 83 Views: 1379

Congratulations!!

But obviously a good thing I'm not married - I would have bought the bike without asking a husband's permission.

clm
Nashville, TN
https://twitter.com/ironclm | http://ironclm.typepad.com

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [david] [ In reply to ]

Aug 13, 18 9:06

Post #76 of 83 Views: 687

Don't get married and buy TWO bikes.

Duh - like that was a hard decision to make. Use your brain boy

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Aug 13, 18 9:10

Post #77 of 83 Views: 678

You should figure out your priorities long before you get married.
If you need help from Slowtwitch, well.......

Team Zoot So Cal

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [ironclm] [ In reply to ]

Aug 13, 18 9:11

Post #78 of 83 Views: 678

ironclm wrote:

Congratulations!!

But obviously a good thing I'm not married - I would have bought the bike without asking a husband's permission.

I pretty much do as I please with bike and tri purchases without spousal approval. She knows it's the one and only guilty pleasure I have in life so she's cool with it.

Favorite Gear: Dimond | Cadex | Desoto Sport | Hoka One One

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Aug 13, 18 9:39

Post #79 of 83 Views: 638

NICE

Washed up footy player turned Triathlete.

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Aug 13, 18 11:13

Post #80 of 83 Views: 596

davidalone wrote:

She out earns me by quite abit and that is going to remain for the forseeable future, so I don't see that as a very high likelihood of happening.

Dude, get a bike, Asian woman are compliant in nature, she will forgive you, if you ask her she might even buy you a bike, Asian woman are awesome!

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Aug 13, 18 11:28

Post #81 of 83 Views: 578

Man, I'm glad I read the whole thread and got to the awesome ending on page 3. While reading, I was formulating my "buy the bike" answer. You are a lucky guy. I was on the other side of the situation, and didn't buy the bike. I did my first triathlon on a Schwinn Varsity. Really. It took 4 wives and 35 years before I finally bought the bike. I'm glad you (she) bought the bike.

Athlinks / Strava

Last edited by: Dean T: Aug 13, 18 11:31

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [tickyboy] [ In reply to ]

Aug 13, 18 15:32

Post #82 of 83 Views: 504

tickyboy wrote:

[pink]Do you see yourself riding your wife in another 7 years?[/pink]

It’ll be less than the bike.

float , hammer , and jog

Re: life decisions- superbike or savings for marriage- advice? [davidalone] [ In reply to ]

Aug 13, 18 15:52

Post #83 of 83 Views: 487

davidalone wrote:

thought I'd give an update.

We talked it over, she said it was fine if I bought it. But there was some hesitation I could sense.

Fast forward 6 months when I'm about to pull the trigger- She says not to buy the bike and to wait till after the wedding.
Now obviously I was pretty bummed to hear this, but then I find out from my Brother in law (who knows bikes) she's been conspiring with him to actually buy me the bike as a birthday gift. Obviously though, she can't get it at the discount I can get- So eventually she tells me to buy it but she's paying for it.

TLDR: I am marrying an awesome woman.

I totally would have wrecked that whole happy-ending that you just earned yourself. Will I always be a selfish asshole? It certainly is looking like a "yes".

---------------------------------------------------------------

https://connect.garmin.com/modern/profile/domingjm

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