Make sure you kiss with plenty of tongue!

---

Long Chile was a silly place.

Make sure you discuss politics, religion, guns, and abortion.

Be on time. Offer to pay. Be normal. Turn off your phone. Wear something you feel comfortable in. Don't try too hard. Listen and ask questions. Be engaging, funny, smart, enigmatic... (Don't talk politics)

Report back here!

Stay away from the garlic salad.

Bring a single flower.

If it is a nice neighborhood, Plan a walk after the cafe.

Good luck.

Good advice, I'd add approach it as friends first.

I found myself in a similar position after a decade and a half, after my first date I just looked at dates as practice, it took the pressure off.

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#WeAreTheForge #BlackGunsMatter

"Look, will you guys at leats accept that you are a bunch of dumb asses and just trust me on this one? Please?" BarryP 7/30/2012

Wear something like this

i've heard tinder, or grinder, are great places to meet folks also.

good luck this weekend.

---

ΜΟΛΩΝ-ΛΑΒΕ
we're doomed

Brush your teeth. Be on time. Be yourself, but remember to smile every once in a while if you're not really the smiling type. Don't worry about it too much; chances are it won't go anywhere long term but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy it.

Good advice on politics, guns, religions, and sexy t-shirt! I also plan on staring at other girls while picking my nose.

Davec, interesting tip on the single flower, it wouldn't be too much, would it? Also, it is in a nice neighbourhood, and if the weather cooperates I was planning for a short walk.

No

Yes

Be yourself. If you're a dickhead, though, pretend to be nice.

You're meeting someone who you may or may not click with, may or may not enjoy being around. Don't build it (or him/her) up to be more than it is, and try to just enjoy it and be normal.

Be Early

Have topics to discuss in mind just in case

Pay

Relax

Have a defined first round and an undefined second round if it is going well (for example meet for a drink, if you like her, ask her spur of the moment if she wants to go to dinner and surprise you know a cute Italian place two blocks away)

Don't overthink it

Have cash

If you look at your cellphone you deserve to die alone

Be yourself because if she doesn't like you better to find out earlier than later

Know what you are going to consume before you go in (I'd suggest not coffee since coffee gives you coffee breath, iced tea (spearmint if they have it).

If you speak of your ex you deserve to die alone

Listen. Think of it as an intelligence gathering exercise

Speak but less than you list, think of it as an information exchange exercise

Dress for success i.e. not a tee shirt

Be prepared for it to be a waste of time and money

Be prepared for it to be successful

Have fun

windywave has good avice for once! :)

if you have an inoffensive funny story or two, try working them into the conversation. laughing helps people relax and feel comfortable together.

don't be a dick to servers! be nice to other people you interact with on the date. seeing how someone interacts with others is a good early indicator of the type of person they are.



DO NOT TRY TOO HARD. that comes across as fake.

good luck

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who's smarter than you're? i'm!

Wear clean clothes. No tee shirts and no stains on it.

Do not wear a hat.

Take a shower before you go.

Do not wear a heavy perfume.

The flower is a sweet suggestion, but I would leave it out.

Let them get a few words in. Don't blabber the whole time, at least pretend to be interested.

Don't lie or over exaggerate your life.

Don't talk about earnings, politics, religion, sex, old partners.

Be prepared to pay for at least yourself. Bring cash in a few different denominations so you can get the right amount out.


It would be helpful to know if your a guy or girl...

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"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." Jimi Hendrix

Masturbate before you go out.

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Civilize the mind, but make savage the body.

- Chinese proverb

while youre out is fun too

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who's smarter than you're? i'm!

Under the table...

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Civilize the mind, but make savage the body.

- Chinese proverb

Good advice on not trying too hard. I do want to be myself, as windywave mentioned, if she doesn't like me, better to find out earlier instead of wasting everyone's time.

But is that the challenge? - To impress and to make it a positive experience, but don't be fake.

Nova - I am a guy, date is a gal.

Duffy - Good one, seeing that I have to take a shower before the date, it can be easily worked in.

Spend more time asking questions about her than talking about yourself. You want her to leave the date thinking that you were more interested in her than yourself.

Stop overthinking it

Yes, be yourself and honest. People (especially men) have a tendency to lie about shit not worth coming out of ones ass. Keep the cell phone in your back pocket unless you are in your 20s and start texting your date. T-shirts and jeans are fine as long as they are CLEAN, stain-free and pressed. Wrinkled clothing is a deal breaker. Brush the breath and grill. Do not talk about past relationships other than being divorced and ready to find a new one. If you have kids, do not talk about them as if they are the only ones in the world. Kids are not the reason why you want to date. Expect nothing and have fun, even if you feel your time is wasted.

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_____________________________________
DISH is how we do it.

Just be yourself. I've been on way to many dates where the guy tries so hard to impress me that I just can't deal with it.

I have, on occasion , left to go to the bathroom and not gone back. I pay the waitress my portion of the bill and boogey out the back. I alwyas get there early and scope out the bathrooms and how to get out depending on where we sit.

I'll assume you are in a state where shorts are not appropriate, but don't wear shorts even if you're in a state where you can. It's tacky.

Be ready to never see her again. If it's right, you'll know in the first 5 minutes. Same if it's not.

Pay. Unless you have previously discussed going dutch. (I have done that too.)

Have fun and good luck.

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"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." Jimi Hendrix

You're not trying to impress her. You're trying to be yourself, and hopefully, she likes that, and you like who she is, and things move forward from there. If not, no harm no foul, try again next time.

Just be respectful, anything after the first date is a nice bonus. You're just going out for a casual, relaxing brunch for the opportunity to potentially meet and get to know a nice person. Don't think it through much further then that.

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Long Chile was a silly place.

Let's see a pic of her. We'll be able to give personalized advice with that.

Be yourself. Be open. Say what's on your mind, within reason- in other words, don't say I want to grab your tits if your thinking it. Do say, I'm sorry if I seem off- I have not been on a date in 10 years and I am really nervous!

Dress nice, but casual nice. Make sure your groomed, brush teeth and all the hygiene stuff.

Don't think of what to say. Just go there, say hi. Shake hands when you meet, or a gentle hug if you read that the moment is ok for that. Ask lots of questions about them. Only talk about yourself if it is relevant. If you say- where did you grow up? They say- Michigan. You can say, wow, I am from Michigan too! Otherwise, keep asking about them.

If they don't answer questions we'll- using one line answers and it seems awkward, say what's on your mind again- hey, I hope I'm not being too forward. You seem interesting and I would like to get to know you.

Anyway, good luck.

I spoke to a woman from Japan while I was in Hong Kong visiting using Google translator the entire night. She spoke limited English and I don't know a lick of Japanese. You would be surprised how powerful body language and a smile is. Show interest in your date and be yourself.

I like the Seinfeld episode when George decides to be himself. He approached a woman and said, I am George. I have no job and I live with my parents. The woman smiled and began to speak to him and they started dating! Granted it is a tv show, but still.

Practice snapping your fingers and whistling, figure out which one is louder to call the waiter!

Order for her and base it on her weight and let her know.

Ask to look through her phone's photos and texts.

After the meal, put your feet up on the chair next to her so she can see your big feet.

Wear big shoes!

Chew with your mouth open so she can she your great teeth.

Tell her you have to sit facing the door just in case the place gets robbed. Pat your gun in your shoulder holster and tell her you'll take care of any trouble.

having a conversation is good. Asking questions like it's an interview is bad.

Use the time to find out what they are interested/passionate about and why.
Topics like, Favorite Vacations, what made it stand out from others. Activities they look forward to doing. What they do to relax and recharge

You are a bad person

He's at his best when challenged!

LMAO. You've got the makings of a reality tv star. The cameras could follow you around for all the first dates and record their reactions.

Definitely this!^^


Women like confidence, so have some, if you don't, fake it. Being nervous might be "cute" for a few minutes, but it quickly gets old. Get the expectations out of it and just enjoy a good conversation. If the conversation sucks then you know not to call her again. No big deal, no reason to be nervous.

Flower idea is bad, makes you look desperate and cheesy. Having an idea for afterward is good, if it goes really well you don't want to be standing there playing the "I don't know, what do you want to do" game. Have a couple ideas of other activities available.

Good luck, have fun. Confidence, not arrogance, is attractive.

No, I'm not. You should have been on some of the dates I have been on.

One guy used a picture on his profile that wasn't even him! The only way I knew it was him is that he came up to me and introduced himself.

Another guy showed up looking like he just got done playing a game of some sort. Dirty baseball hat, dirty clothes and sweaty. We had nothing to talk about at all and I just couldn't handle it anymore. I excused myself to go to the bathroom and left. He obviously didn't care about the date, why should I?

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"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." Jimi Hendrix

Duffy's urban cowboy hat is pretty chill. Maybe wear one of those?

Just because you do an extremely poor job of screening your dates does not give you Carter Blanche to act like a cretin.

Be an hour late because your junky car refuses to start. Kick some ex boyfriend guy out of her room when you arrive with an uncomfortable stare down. Don't bother to go out and have sex.

Wait. That was my 1st date with my wife 27 years ago.

I've sat through plenty of really bad dates because I knew the guy was at least trying. I don't feel bad at all leaving if the person misrepresents themselves in a profile. I usually have a few conversations with them prior to going out too. If they are gonna lie and then show up like they don't care, I'm outa there.

I will admit it's s hitty thing to do and I've only done it when the date is completely fucked up. I ave told a few guys that this wasn't going to work before we even ordered dinner.

You obviously haven't used a dating web site or dated in a while. It's brutal out there

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"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." Jimi Hendrix

I have and about 7 years (that's when I met my wife). It's still not an excuse to just leave without saying goodbye. How would you feel if someone did that to you. Have some manners and common courtesy, it might make finding someone easier.

Make her laugh, and ask open ended questions.

I was going to go with sit around with your friends playing euchre and drinking beer then go to a midnight showing of The Wall. That is my go to move. It worked once and is all I have.

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I'm beginning to think that we are much more fucked than I thought.

Some guys don't have the courtesy to be reral or show up with clean clothes, they don't deserve a goodbye.

I realize I'm being a jerk, and an ass, but I can only handle so much before I have to get OUT... I always pay my own way and I tell the wait person that I'm leaving. What happens after that, I don't care.

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"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." Jimi Hendrix

I agree with all of JHarris's suggestions.

To add to it -- getting to know someone shouldn't be a chore....after the initial nervousness and awkwardness wears off the conversation should flow fairly naturally if there is chemistry between the two of you. I used to go on a LOT of first dates (was on an internet dating site for a year before I found Mr. Perfect-for-me). I knew within 5 minutes if there was even the chance the date would progress to another date. I always made sure the first date was something short and sweet.....a drink at a local pub, coffee at starbucks, fresh cookies at the Nestle's store, (even went to a book signing with one guy) etc....If we were really enjoying each other's company I would still leave within a short period of time. Always leave them wanting more. There is always the second date to start making more progress. I don't need to know everything about you on the first date....just enough to make me want a second one.

If you aren't one to typically make spontaneous romantic gestures (like bringing flowers). Don't do it on the first date. I once dated a man that gave me 5 dozen roses within the first 3 weeks we dated. Then nothing for the next year. It wasn't the flowers, it was that he wasn't the person he presented himself to me to be (and it wasn't just the flowers that clued me into that!)

And...after the date...if you find you are not interested in her.....just tell her the truth. A quick note, text saying had a lovely time, however I just don't feel the stars are aligned for us (or whatever).....don't just not call. I recommend this for the women also. If you aren't interested just be honest.

Make good eye contact. Not the creepy kind though.

Good luck, have fun!

First date with my wife I spoke about my ex and a diarrhea experience.

Been married for almost 12 years!

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How does Danny Hart sit down with balls that big?

Nothing like getting shit out in the open on the first date!

single flower

Tulip, (1)yellow


Have her look it up


smooth move :-)


=Sunshine in your smile

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RayGovett
Hughson CA
Be Prepared-- Strike Swiftly -- Who Dares Wins- Without warning-"it will be hard. I can do it"

Ask? Shouldn't I just grab her phone?

Look man, you go in with one goal: close. Always Be Closing. Make sure you hit the gym on the way to the date, that way you get a badass pump so she can check your physique. Plus you'll be releasing all kinds of "come fuck me" pheremones. Wear tight pants and pop some viagra, that way she can scope your package. Make sure you tell her what a bitch your ex was, that way she knows right off that you tolerate no bullshit. Also mention all the other tail you have sweating you, that way she knows to move fast if she wants in on the action. Finally, let her know that anal is always on the table.

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If I don't, who will? -Me
It's like being bipolar in opinion is a requirement around here. -TripleThreat

My wife asked me on a coffee date, my response "why would I want to do that?" Pissed her right off that a guy would turn her down so she doubled down on getting together with me. Next encounter was at a mutual friends bday party that she "encouraged" me to attend. I was absolutely shit faced when she showed up, she walked right up to me, gave me a hug, we kissed, she took my drunk ass back to my place when the bar closed and hasn't left since.

She still maintains the only reason she was interested was because I had the audacity to turn her down. She was not accustomed to that sort of treatment from guys.

Solid advice from everyone here. Be yourself, say what you mean, mean what you say, and ALWAYS wear clean underwear.

This can not be said enough...

TURN OFF YOUR FUCKING PHONE. Be in the moment.

Can you feel the chemistry? Can you feel it?

you've got to have SWAGGER!

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Pink? Maybe. Maybe not. You decide.

Yep. You shouldn't even go out on a date unless you have a contract.

This is really, really great advice.

I would add that if she gives you the "the stars are not aligned for us" line, don't pursue. Be graceful and thank her for her time, wish her luck in finding what she's looking for. Nothing more annoying than a whiny clinger who can't accept a polite rejection.

Many years ago I dated a young woman who had recently had a date with another guy I knew. He asked her for a second date and she told him that she had begun dating me. He demanded "equal time" as I was getting. Surprisingly, she refused to grant it to him.

Ain't that the truth.
Another one to add, if the date is into stuff that you do not do, don't say "That's cool, I have always wanted to do that too" or "You have a big heart to help..., I should get into doing that too." If you haven't done whatever it is on your own, you won't do it for the sake of another. Faking the funk is a sign of desperation.

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_____________________________________
DISH is how we do it.

1. Smile A Lot
2. Don't gripe about work, don't gripe about anything.
3. Take interest in what she is saying and don't repeat Uh huh's and yeah's
4. Pick up the check and take a walk outside
5. End the date with something witty

Go get em tiger

An employee at my previous company (stereotypical IT nerd, lives with his parents at 39, very socially awkward and generally weird) set up a date with a girl through Match.com.. a doctor, pretty. He's also a hypochondriac so we all had an idea of how the conversation would go if he got a couple of hours of conversation with a doctor.

The Monday after the date we pressed him for a report, and after a lot of bitching about the price of their drinks, he said it went pretty well but she hadn't replied yet to any of his texts, emails or messages about a second date. Then he wondered aloud if he'd scared her off by detailing all his (perceived) medical problems. Over the course of the next couple of weeks he escalated his messages to the point of texting her that "what she was doing to him just wasn't right."
That's when we clued him in to maybe having crossed the creepiness/desperate threshold.

Guessing you two are not adherents to the book (I think it's called The Rules) that was popular when I was in college that basically said ignore the guy and make him keep contacting you so you he's interested

Thanks!

There's a lot of good advice here. I certainly appreciate the womens point of view here as well. (don't worry, I won't be a douche or a clingy rejectee.)

Keep them coming if you have them, maybe things will go well and I will post here asking for 2nd date advice...

make sure:
its not too early , 11am at the earliest
dont smell like anything, cologne can mask pheromones.
do a little work out to calm the nerves
try not to use the the word “I”
small box of chocolates “unopened” instead of flower. Small enough to stuff in a purse. Flowers are a responsibility..like a pet.
Stay off your fucking phone
she may be on the wrong time of the month and won’t be able to help being a bit offish....good luck

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sometimes

First of all, you never let on how much you like a girl. “Oh, Debbie. Hi.”
Two, you always call the shots. “Kiss me. You won’t regret it.”
Now three, act like wherever you are, that’s the place to be. “Isn’t this great?”
Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It’s a classy move. “Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice.”
And five, now this is the most important. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin Four.

Glad to help

---

"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

Rule #22: When in doubt, Know your way out

http://www.zombielandrules.com/

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

"she may be on the wrong time of the month and won’t be able to help being a bit offish."

...or you could always just ask at the beginning of the date and take it from there?

Dating tips, by Mike Damone.

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"The right to party is a battle we have fought, but we'll surrender and go Amish... NOT!" -Wayne Campbell

I turned down my wife a couple of times and even tried to break up with her once early on in dating! 10 years later I still haven't managed to shake her :-).

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Long Chile was a silly place.

This is why the best advice (for the long-term set) is to go into it with the mindset of making a friend, rather than finding a lover. If you assume that you will be getting to know this person, then it will force you to be honest. Being enigmatic is fine (sometimes good), but don't oversell or undersell. A friend will always know when you're full of shit.

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"The right to party is a battle we have fought, but we'll surrender and go Amish... NOT!" -Wayne Campbell

Far too many people in here won't get that.

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I miss YaHey

NO.

I disagree. People date to find a companion/partner or whatever, not a friend. If a person has a good set of friends, why would he/she need to date to add to the collective? Being dishonest is the best way to make a so-called friend while honesty will attract a potentional relationship.

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_____________________________________
DISH is how we do it.

Mike always gives good advice.

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"I think I've cracked the code. double letters are cheaters except for perfect squares (a, d, i, p and y). So Leddy isn't a cheater... "

Classic movie, classic scene.

*promptly slaps Physical Graffiti into the tape deck*

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"The right to party is a battle we have fought, but we'll surrender and go Amish... NOT!" -Wayne Campbell

Guess they really do only want what they can't have!

I suppose! I didn't do it as some stupid head game or power play, I was just out of a serious relationship just got home from travelling, I knew she was looking for something more serious then I was really in the right headspace for at that point in my life. In the end it was nice because we got to know each other slowly over a long period of time.

---

Long Chile was a silly place.

I was kinda interested in my wife, but she was quite the socialite, smoking hot, and got lots of attention. She was a runner for private attorneys and I worked in the court house so I saw her almost every day, as did every other guy in the building who followed her around like drooling neanderthals. Based on this info I knew she wasn't accustomed to being turned down. The look on her face when she asked me on a date and I turned her down was priceless.

I forgot to mention, according to Forge, if you can't bench twice your weight, hit a target 200 yards out with a rifle, and arm wrestle a silverback gorilla (preferably, all at the same time), you aren't man enough to be desirable and probably shouldn't even bother showing up for brunch.

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Long Chile was a silly place.

I forgot to mention, according to Forge, if you can't bench twice your weight, hit a target 200 yards out with a rifle, and arm wrestle a silverback gorilla (preferably, all at the same time), you aren't man enough to be desirable and probably shouldn't even bother showing up for brunch.

And, you have to tell your first date you can do all those things while mocking the pencil necked triathlete types who can't. She would love it.

At some point during the date, lean over and place your hand on her stomach and say "Soon my seed will be growing in there".

Make sure to discuss whether a sperm is an organism and whether or not your thumb is alive.

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I'm beginning to think that we are much more fucked than I thought.

aaaaand you can try this. make it good restaurant.

http://www.foxnews.com/...-multiple-times.html

---

ΜΟΛΩΝ-ΛΑΒΕ
we're doomed

LOL

---

Long Chile was a silly place.

What a dirt bag! People like that are their own punishment.

Now that we have your mind totally screwed up, you are going to fail so relax and enjoy the date.

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_________________________________
I'll be what I am
A solitary man

So, are we going to have results?

In nine months time

Give him time. It takes time to bury a body.

Well, I followed everyone's advice. Brought my gun, patted her belly, went to the gym beforehand to get that sick pump, as well as Duffy's advice...

I actually thought of writing post in the spirit of a post race recap, but I was afraid BLep might ask me to take it to the Tri forum.

Saturday was quite something, to be honest. In the morning, we were both texting one another making fun of each other and making "date escape" plans. In hindsight, we were both nervous and it really help lighten the mood.

I already knew she was smart and attractive, but it was such a bonus that we clicked. But man, the first 5 minutes was horrible. I think the butterflies in my stomach had butterflies in their stomachs. But after the initial nervous wore off, it was great, and the conversation flowed freely from the both of us.

Anyways, what was supposed to be a <2hr brunch ended up being a 4hr date. After eating, we went for a walk around the neighbourhood and continued the conversation. But stupid me, I walked on the inside of the road (forgetting my manners) and a truck dove passed a puddle and kinda splashed on her (not a lot, just some sprinkles) Rookie mistake and I was kicking myself for forgetting that simple rule. *Tip to the rest of you men, always walk closest to the road.

Also, someone gave a tip about having a witty end to the date, so Friday night I had written a short note with a bad groaner joke (I know she likes those), ending with asking her out again. I just thought that it would give her an out if she did not want to see me again as she would not have to be awkward about promising a 2nd date, vice versa, if I didn't feel the connection, I did not have to gave her the note.

But I thought it went well and handed the note to her and told her to read it when she got home.

By the evening, she responded... positively, and we are planning to meet up again next weekend.

:)

Nice!! Was hoping this would go well, what's the plan for second date?

What did you guys eat?

Walk and witty always works.

After reading this thread, I plan on staying single and alone if something happens to my marriage.

Not if it is cold and/or wet and jokes are stale.

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_____________________________________
DISH is how we do it.

Dogs are loving and loyal!

---

They constantly try to escape from the darkness outside and within
Dreaming of systems so perfect that no one will need to be good T.S. Eliot

Not going to let you dull my sparkle.

What did the note say?

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---

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Take a short break from ST and read my blog:
http://tri-banter.blogspot.com/

It said:

"Please help me change my name from Beekay to Beejay!"

---

===============
Proud member of the MSF (Maple Syrup Mafia)

Did you fuck her?

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Civilize the mind, but make savage the body.

- Chinese proverb

If you don't mind me asking, are you up front about your biological history?

Holy shit the comments on that article are amazing! There are some seriously warped people out there.