possibly the most desperate thing I have seen yet

Worse than fins?

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Founder of THE TRIATHLON COLLECTIVE (Closed Facebook Group). A SBR discussion group without the white noise/trolling!

Well, only topped by the person who picks up the phone and call these guys...

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#KISPERFORMANCE

Why not just drive it? Or better yet, set up your bike on a trainer in the back of a pick up truck and have somebody drive you while you pedal so that there is power data. Might not work so well on a twisty descent though. :-)

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Kevin

http://kevinmetcalfe.dreamhosters.com
My Strava

I think its the latter, power data to make it "believable". I've seen some flat course times locally that are questionable, looks like drafting/moto'ing off of of a car could definitely be a factor.

Of course, you could always use "digital EPO" .... or maybe not ... http://www.scarletfire.co.uk/...-to-cheat-on-strava/

yes even worse than fins
we are talking about Strava for fuck's sake

cheating is always wrong but the level of desperation to have a virtual KOM???????

oh a psychotherapists wet dream

you are way too creative on the cheating thing

I am far too honest - none of this shit would ever occur to me

but of course I do not give a rat's ass about how I compare on strava to anyone but me

Sigh. I know far too many Strava warriors, but hopefully none that would ever reach this low.

Jeesuz I hope this is a joke.

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The secret of a long life is you try not to shorten it.
-Nobody

Im on the phone right now.....

This is a great play on this theme. It is a video produced by Peloton. The theme is they get a "secret" incognito rider to go out and take away a KOM from a real pro. In preparation for the KOM run they outfit him with a bike, equipment and clothing which I assume are paid product placements.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5b6-UAPvpg

That's a really funny video!

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Kevin

http://kevinmetcalfe.dreamhosters.com
My Strava

Can you say "Franchise"?

I'm on the phone with these guys to lock in the Cedar Rapid's/Iowa City Iowa location.
Of course, I'll need to hire out some Cat 1 guys to make this work.

Give me a call..1-800-KINGME

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"Good genes are not a requirement, just the obsession to beat ones brains out daily"...the Griz

From Austin? Is that you L Armstrong?

So what happens when some schmoe in Austin hires these jokers to "win back" his Strava segment and they send out some Pro or Cat 1? They "win back" the segment....but then guy who just "lost" HIS segment calls them up...."Hey, I need you guys to go get this segment back for me." How long before they run out of faster "segment snatchers" who can 1 up themselves?

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Chicago Cubs - 2016 WORLD SERIES Champions!!!!

"If ever the time should come, when vain and aspiring men shall possess the highest seats in government, our country will stand in need of its experienced patriots to prevent its ruin." - Samuel Adams

He needs some way to feed his family.

They call guys in California, who then smash all the TX cat 1 pretenders.

Trying to decide who is more pathetic: the tools who posted that or the person who would call them.

ITs a toss up.

Six of one thing and a half a dozen of the other.

LOL...well played.

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Chicago Cubs - 2016 WORLD SERIES Champions!!!!

"If ever the time should come, when vain and aspiring men shall possess the highest seats in government, our country will stand in need of its experienced patriots to prevent its ruin." - Samuel Adams

I don't understand all the negativity directed toward the people that posted that. Lighten up! If it's not a joke it's a hilarious idea and I would gladly set up an NC franchise. If someone is willing to pay you to ride your bike for their Strava gains, the shame is theirs. You are enabling a harmless behavior that pretty much only results in deadweight loss on the part of the fool desperate enough to pay you.

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__________________________

I tweet!

Because it's even easier to use Digital Epo!

http://www.digitalepo.com/

Dont worry everyone, your strava segments are safe. I have good info that it was made in jest, even though the masked riders did apparently get a lot of emails!

-Adam

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http://www.austintricyclist.com
Facebook http://www.facebook.com/austintricyclist
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/ATCTriShop

Zach,

What are you doing later this week?

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What I do: http://app.strava.com/athletes/345699

My first thought as well

There's already a name for people who get paid to ride their bikes: pros.

Hopefully it is a joke--that's what first crossed my mind. Regardless, I think it breaks the spirit of friendly competition for ego massaging. Sort of like masters who dope, going there is just pathetic.

http://www.digitalepo.com same sad, less effort.

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https://www.pbandjcoaching.com
https://www.thisbigroadtrip.com

Damn right. Strava is fucking sacred!!

Or jackmott?

>Or jackmott?

Mott is Cat 3. If you have to hire a middling Cat 3 to get your KOM you've hit rock bottom. And per Spackler, that's a California Cat 4.

Hiring Jack is smart business. If you want return business, you don't subcontract out to Juan Pelota to put Heartbreak Hill out of reach - you put incrementally push the KOM higher and higher by using first the local Texas Cat 3's, then the local Texas Cat 1's, then you "offshore" to CA Cat 1's, finally, you hire Juan Pelota as the final nail in the coffin. At that point, you maximized your potential revenue on a particular segment.

I need to hire a pro to get some KOM's. My neighbor is a Cat 1, I can't even get a KOM going out of my driveway. FML.

ha, that sucks and is funny at the same time. At least you won't get cocky.

WIN

So if you hire a pro to pick up KOMs for you, is he exclusive, or can he be hired by someone else to assassinate you? It's a dangerous game LOL.

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> you put incrementally push the KOM higher and higher by using first the local Texas Cat 3's, then the local Texas Cat 1's, then you "offshore" to CA Cat 1's...

That's good thinking. Plus the incremental approach causes the most psychological damage to the victim. They're constantly crushed, yet never completely lose hope until you unleash the EndGame.

My personal favorite (legal) Strava game is to go out and get all of someone's KOM's over the space of like a month. But don't upload them right away. Wait until the end of the month. Then they get like a dozen of the maddening "Uh-oh Some Total Douchebag Stole Your KOM!" emails all at once. Brutal. I did that. But there's been serious payback. In actual races.

A couple of months ago, a buddy of mine beat my KOM on a flat road with a massive tailwind. I knew he was going to try and beat it that day. I gave him time to download and bask in all the Strava glory, then I went out later that afternoon and broke his new KOM. There's nothing more satisfying than knowing your buddy received the "BBB1975 just stole your KOM" email notification twenty minutes after he was awarded the KOM.

Indeed, but when they win, they get the credit. Taking another athlete's Garmin out with you, recording a KOM on it and handing it back to them is genius and I can't believe I didn't think of it first.

For an extra $Beer I'll start at your house, ride (up to 5mi to the segment), and ride home.

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__________________________

I tweet!

Now, this whole line of reasoning is awesome.

Ha, good call. I guess if someone is going all-in, they should go ALL in.

Looks like they're already in business - http://www.cyclingweekly.co.uk/...-s-strava-times.html

quick question here - what if you have never had a KOM but would like one?

A year or two ago here in Nor Cal this guy named Mike Gunn started obliterating the KOMs. Like taking 2 minutes off a ~15 minute climb set by a legit cat 1 racer-- crazy amounts. Turns out "Mike" was the Juan Pelota of Santa Rosa (Levi).

And what happens when the d-bag who hires these clowns goes out on a hard group ride and gets spit out the back?

Pathetic.

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What are you people, on dope?

—Mr. Hand

I feel that pain, one of the top cat 1s in NM lives a quarter-mile away. He's KOM on ~95% of the segments in the area. I have taken a couple of his KOMs, but they were kinda soft and he took them back easily (i.e. I was hammering while fresh, he took them back at the end of a fast 100 miler).

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http://ironvision.blogspot.com ; @drSteve1663

I didn't get it...so let's see...you're upset because a domestic pro rider happens to set a local KOM (in the course of a hard local group ride, BTW), so you go get ANOTHER pro rider to take it away in a "one shot" effort? Ummm...ok...what was the point again (besides the fact that most things Strava related are silly, that is?) :-/

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http://bikeblather.blogspot.com/

I'm just happy getting 'respectable'. My marker at this point is hitting the top 10%.

Summarizing what we've established here: you can get by half-cocked in Texas, but there's always some California dude with a bigger Gunn.

No.

I think that lots of people take Strava WAAAY to seriously and I think that's funny.

There are Strava KOM's around here that I own and some that are within my reach. Others are well beyond my reach and owned by pro's. Some fall in the same bucket except it's just a shit hot cat 1. It is what it is. Instead of whining about it though you can go after it anyway. There is one around here owned by local pro Nate English. It appeared out of reach (and may still be), but since it's short and on the route of our normal Sunday ride I periodically take a run at it. It's gotten to where I'm not all that far off and that motivates me. Maybe it's possible so I dig deeper. That makes me a better cyclist.

On the other hand, Nate probably did that with a relatively hard effort where as for me it's a full gas thrashing and I usually I get a couple of friends to set the pace at the bottom of the climb for me. (It's a bit under 4 minutes.) So, even if I actually do beat it Nate would get an email and maybe pedal with both legs next time he heads that way and take it back.

But that's what makes Strava fun.

Though I have to admit that I think that what the video is asking for is a good idea. From a marketing perspective it makes a lot of sense. Otherwise at some point all KOM's are going to be owned by either Ted King or Laurens Ten Dam. :-)

For myself, I'd still rather compare myself against everybody, but I can understand why a lot of people would like the pro filter.

Though I have to admit that I wondered if there wasn't some way to sneak my Garmin into a pro's back pocket at the bottom of Diablo in last year's ToC. :-) "Holy Shit! Kevin took 6 minutes off of his Diablo time!" :-)

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Kevin

http://kevinmetcalfe.dreamhosters.com
My Strava

If you really have lots of $$ piled somewhere, you can just invite Euro pros.

I'll bet Rico and Rebellin could use some extra cash. And since there's no drug testing in Strava...

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Kevin

http://kevinmetcalfe.dreamhosters.com
My Strava

Start now - make your own STRADA.

Out-of-segment testing, digital EPO scans, garmin swapping detection, bans from riding certain segments, userid lockout, and a mobile truth and reconciliation bus.

Put some teeth into this, whydontcha?! :)

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- I do all my own stunts

http://reviews.mtbr.com/...s/dope-black-500x500