First things first one must put on one's Capri denim stretch pants and take off one's shirt so the tats are visible. Open a bottle of Zima and allow to breathe while preparing the base. Take an ounce of Rye, an ounce of Tequila, two ounces of Campari and a few dashes of Peychaud. Stir gently. Finish with four ounces of Zima poured slowly to preserve the carbonation. Garnish with cheese curds.

This drink pairs well with most Panera baked goods. Serving suggestion in a flask at a Panera while bitching about the kids there interrupting one's Cutler meme creation and being depressed about living in Milwaukee.