Bike Shops
Coaches
Fitters
Race Calendar
Running Stores
Store
Stack & Reach
Training Log
Triathlon Clubs
We Noticed
MAIN INDEX
RULES & LEGEND
LOG IN
Slowtwitch Forums
:
Lavender Room
:
Let's Discuss Parental Responsibility
1
2
View All
Tri
Classifieds
Lavender
Jobs
Womens
Notices
Print Thread
mojozenmaster
Apr 29, 12 11:26
Post #1 of 32
(1030 views)
Let's Discuss Parental Responsibility
Quote
|
Reply
I live in a nice complex in eastern Ventura County. One of my favorite things to do is sit out by the pool and catch rays and read, because as I say to the womens; 'the darker the berry the sweeter the juice.'
Anyways, yesterday I'm out by the pool catching rays and thinking my thoughts when this dude walks up to the gate with his son who could not be older than 6.
He's yapping away on his phone unlocks the gate to the pool and says to his kid “oh shit!! I forgot something.....Danny let's go back to the house.” The kid says “No” (he obviously wants to swim) Dad says “Okay, I'll be right back.”
Dad is gone for at least 45 minutes. I'm not sure if he noticed me being the only person at the pool. If he had not noticed me would he still have let his son alone by the pool for 45 minutes?
Remember, this kid is no older than 6. What if he slipped and cracked his head open, got stung by a bee with severe allergic reaction or drowned? Any of these things could have happened. I did not have my phone with me.
Supposing an accident happened, I would have done something. But imagine me administering the wrong care? What is my liability? Could I be sued for being a good Samaritan? And what is the fucking deal with parents who would abandon a young kid for 45 minutes?
When the guy got back to the pool I didn't say a word. But I should have and the next time this happens I will.
Shit like this happens all the time. I see kids wandering around stores all alone and I say “Hey kid where's your mom or dad?” Kid says “over there.” 5 aisles down, sure enough mom or dad is yapping away on the phone oblivious to the fact that their children are nowhere near them. Am i over-reacting here, or do I have a legitimate concern?
**All of these words finding themselves together were greatly astonished and delighted for assuredly, they had never met before**
(This post was
edited
by mojozenmaster on Apr 29, 12 11:27)
Triocd
Apr 29, 12 11:38
Post #2 of 32
(1015 views)
Re: Let's Discuss Parental Responsibility [mojozenmaster]
[
In reply to
]
Quote
|
Reply
I'm assuming there was no guard. After 15 minutes I would've considered calling the police to report an unattended 6 year old at the pool. Police would definitely take an interest in that situation, probably wouldn't do anything other than give him a nice lecture/warning, but it might lead to something if there were ever any similar neglect/abuse related issues on the guys record.
Doesn't surprise me though. Drive through a poor part of any city and you see young kids all over the place on the streets.
mojozenmaster
Apr 29, 12 11:47
Post #3 of 32
(1005 views)
Re: Let's Discuss Parental Responsibility [Triocd]
[
In reply to
]
Quote
|
Reply
Good advice.
This guy was running his mouth on the phone about billing his clients $400 per hour. He's obviously a lawyer, but not a smart one. He owes me $350 for my babysitting services.
**All of these words finding themselves together were greatly astonished and delighted for assuredly, they had never met before**
sphere
Apr 29, 12 11:53
Post #4 of 32
(998 views)
Re: Let's Discuss Parental Responsibility [mojozenmaster]
[
In reply to
]
Quote
|
Reply
Quote:
If he had not noticed me would he still have let his son alone by the pool for 45 minutes?
I'm wondering if would have were the opposite true. ;)
You can't fix stupid. What you witnessed was likely only a small sliver of the risk that kid is exposed to, if that's the mentality of the parent. Calling the police may change his behavior just enough to push him to be more careful in public so as to avoid any further embarrassment. But who knows, it may be enough to prevent that one freak incident.
Speaking as someone who had a neighborhood kid drown in his own pool (successfully resuscitated, thankfully), any age is too young for a child to be left unattended. As a paramedic, I worked two unsupervised kids who weren't as fortunate.
"Reason obeys itself; ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it." - T. Paine
Brian in MA
Apr 29, 12 11:55
Post #5 of 32
(996 views)
Re: Let's Discuss Parental Responsibility [mojozenmaster]
[
In reply to
]
Quote
|
Reply
Story out here this past week where a woman was at tHe beach with her two yr-old and four yr-old. Kids were playing with a ball that went over a barrier near a cove with a strong current that went out to the ocean. Mother left the kids for a few minutes to look for the ball and when she came back the younger one was gone. No evidence that she was taken and the theory is that she may have fallen into the cove and been carried out to sea. No trace of her since.
"You can never win or lose if you don't run the race." - Richard Butler
mojozenmaster
Apr 29, 12 12:09
Post #6 of 32
(983 views)
Re: Let's Discuss Parental Responsibility [sphere]
[
In reply to
]
Quote
|
Reply
You can't fix stupid.
Word.
But you can discuss the prevention of future stupididty. When my Son Christian was a little boy, I watched him like a Hawk. He was never more than 3 feet away from me. I could not imagine the grief a parent would feel over such random carelessness. I suppose my only point is for parents to pay attention to their children and maintain vigilance always.
**All of these words finding themselves together were greatly astonished and delighted for assuredly, they had never met before**
triguy98
Apr 29, 12 12:24
Post #7 of 32
(970 views)
Re: Let's Discuss Parental Responsibility [mojozenmaster]
[
In reply to
]
Quote
|
Reply
My mom's neighbors had two sons that would haul ass around the neighborhood in their Mercedes and other expensive cars. Mom told their mom, who said "not my boys." They now have one son. The other died last night. Failed to negotiate a corner at high speed, ran into a tree.
Triocd
Apr 29, 12 12:26
Post #8 of 32
(969 views)
Re: Let's Discuss Parental Responsibility [Brian in MA]
[
In reply to
]
Quote
|
Reply
Brian, where was that beach? I didn't hear that local news.
Mojo, I would say there is a healthy amount of exploration that kids need to be exposed to which lies somewhere between 3 feet away and letting a total stranger watch your kid at the pool (probably closer to the 3 foot end of the spectrum). Overprotection has its own issues as well. I work with 18 year olds that still have their parents involved in resolving a lot of the issues that they should be prepared to resolve themselves. Kind of related, but I think an 18 year old should be able to navigate well enough to drive their way to a new location an hour away and be able to navigate public transportation to get to where they need to, but I know that many parents still drive kids these ages to new places because they don't think they will find their way there. I have no kids though and perhaps my perspective would change if I did.
mojozenmaster
Apr 29, 12 12:37
Post #9 of 32
(957 views)
Re: Let's Discuss Parental Responsibility [Triocd]
[
In reply to
]
Quote
|
Reply
When I was very young my mates and I imagined ourselves as modern day Huckleberry Finns and Tom Sawyers. I spent long hours away from home, but I always felt safe while doing some extremely crazy shit. it must have been my confidence in my friends that they would never let anything bad happen to me.
**All of these words finding themselves together were greatly astonished and delighted for assuredly, they had never met before**
Duffy
Apr 29, 12 12:50
Post #10 of 32
(934 views)
Re: Let's Discuss Parental Responsibility [mojozenmaster]
[
In reply to
]
Quote
|
Reply
Going by what you said this sounds stupid at best and possibly criminal.
That being said is it possible that he could see the pool from his unit?
I've been at the gas station and have gone inside to buy a snack while leaving my son in the car (windows open). I could see him the whole time and was never more that 20 yards away. Some lady went ballistic on me. I realize that is technically illegal but in my judgement it would have been more risk to remove him from the car (I could have dropped him or he could have been run over).
Yes your situation was different (and sounds terrible), but maybe there's more we don't know?
____________________________________________________
"This hip-hoppers ended up tightly connected with basketball along with highway dances."
slowguy
Apr 29, 12 12:50
Post #11 of 32
(934 views)
Re: Let's Discuss Parental Responsibility [mojozenmaster]
[
In reply to
]
Quote
|
Reply
Funny, because I was just thinking about how much more tightly parents seem to control their kids these days. When I was a kid, I could leave the house in the morning and come back for supper, and no one worried about kidnapping, drowning, death, injury, etc. 6 is a little young, especially by a pool, but again, kids used to run around unsupervised in much more dangerous (by today's standards) situations.
Slowguy
(insert pithy phrase here...)
NCtri
Apr 29, 12 12:52
Post #12 of 32
(931 views)
Re: Let's Discuss Parental Responsibility [mojozenmaster]
[
In reply to
]
Quote
|
Reply
Leaving a 6 yr old is stupid. But when I was 11-12 I would leave for the woods with a couple friends, dam a creek, swim. Hit the minibikes or bikes and be 10-12 miles away. Get home by dinner. At 13 we hitch hiked to little league. No one ever worried. Also worked on the farm like an adult once I was 8 or 9. Really a different world today.
****************
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
Duffy
Apr 29, 12 12:52
Post #13 of 32
(932 views)
Re: Let's Discuss Parental Responsibility [mojozenmaster]
[
In reply to
]
Quote
|
Reply
I'd like to add that if it was me and I could see the pool from wherever it was I went, I would have said something to that effect to you. Like "hey, I'll be right over there and I can see what's going on do don't worry"...
____________________________________________________
"This hip-hoppers ended up tightly connected with basketball along with highway dances."
Alvin Tostig
Apr 29, 12 13:08
Post #14 of 32
(915 views)
Re: Let's Discuss Parental Responsibility [Triocd]
[
In reply to
]
Quote
|
Reply
Triocd wrote:
Overprotection has its own issues as well.
I work with 18 year olds that still have their parents involved in resolving a lot of the issues that they should be prepared to resolve themselves. Kind of related, but I think an 18 year old should be able to navigate well enough to drive their way to a new location an hour away and be able to navigate public transportation to get to where they need to, but I know that many parents still drive kids these ages to new places because they don't think they will find their way there. I have no kids though and perhaps my perspective would change if I did.
As always, there's a happy middle ground. You don't leave 6 year olds at a pool by themselves. Some parts of town are "more risky" than others. You shouldn't give an 8 year old a shotgun and let him go shooting pop cans at the local gravel pit on their own.
However, after a certain age, kids ought to walk/ride their bikes to school on their own. They should be able to sign up for classes in high school without their parents attending a "counseling session". They need to be able to drive themselves to college and move into the dorm on their own.
Getting off topic, but did you see the article about the (lawyer) dad who is suing his son's school for kicking his kid out of an honors English class? The kid cheated but, according to dad, the rules about getting kicked out of this class were conflicting. I teach high school kids. If I had cheated/lipped off to the teacher/cut class/showed up for class stoned (etc.) when I was a student in high school, my parents would have been more than a little upset with me. Now days, mom and dad want to know why I'm picking on their kid.
http://www.mercurynews.com/...uoia-high?source=pkg
Some say "I can". Others say "I can't". Both manage to be correct.
mojozenmaster
Apr 29, 12 13:15
Post #15 of 32
(903 views)
Re: Let's Discuss Parental Responsibility [Duffy]
[
In reply to
]
Quote
|
Reply
I wish parents would pay more attention to their children beyond the custodial aspects of parenting. Things like the development of personal excellence, humility and charity.
**All of these words finding themselves together were greatly astonished and delighted for assuredly, they had never met before**
(This post was
edited
by mojozenmaster on Apr 29, 12 13:53)
JSA
Apr 29, 12 13:53
Post #16 of 32
(873 views)
Re: Let's Discuss Parental Responsibility [mojozenmaster]
[
In reply to
]
Quote
|
Reply
mojozenmaster wrote:
Good advice.
This guy was running his mouth on the phone about billing his clients $400 per hour.
He's obviously a lawyer, but not a smart one
. He owes me $350 for my babysitting services.
There are only about 20 of us, or so. Therefore, your odds of meeting one of us are pretty slim.
_______________________________________________
“If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.” - Will Rogers
Emery's Third Coast Triathlon |
Tri Wisconsin Triathlon Team |
Push Endurance |
GLWR
YaHey
Apr 29, 12 13:54
Post #17 of 32
(871 views)
Re: Let's Discuss Parental Responsibility [mojozenmaster]
[
In reply to
]
Quote
|
Reply
Six years old is the age when kids start to work in most countries around the world, so clearly this kid is spoiled spending time at the pool.
Seriously, at the age of six, they are too young to be left unsupervised by the pool, even if they know how to swim. I'm no attorney (but I do know more than the typical attorney on the LR ;-) ), but I don't think you would have been held liable if something had happened - and you had tried to help.
JSA
Apr 29, 12 13:55
Post #18 of 32
(870 views)
Re: Let's Discuss Parental Responsibility [slowguy]
[
In reply to
]
Quote
|
Reply
slowguy wrote:
Funny, because I was just thinking about how much more tightly parents seem to control their kids these days.
Really? When you were a kid, did your parents take you to a nice restaurant or even a wine bar and let you treat it like a fucking Chuckie Cheese?
_______________________________________________
“If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.” - Will Rogers
Emery's Third Coast Triathlon |
Tri Wisconsin Triathlon Team |
Push Endurance |
GLWR
slowguy
Apr 29, 12 14:13
Post #19 of 32
(853 views)
Re: Let's Discuss Parental Responsibility [JSA]
[
In reply to
]
Quote
|
Reply
I didn't mean "control" with respect to behavior and manners. I was speaking in regard to where kids go, what they do when they play, etc. It could be just perception, but parents seem much more protective now.
Slowguy
(insert pithy phrase here...)
Brian in MA
Apr 29, 12 14:15
Post #20 of 32
(851 views)
Re: Let's Discuss Parental Responsibility [Triocd]
[
In reply to
]
Quote
|
Reply
Long Beach in Rockport, State Police called off the search the other day. Very sad story.
"You can never win or lose if you don't run the race." - Richard Butler
mojozenmaster
Apr 29, 12 14:18
Post #21 of 32
(848 views)
Re: Let's Discuss Parental Responsibility [YaHey]
[
In reply to
]
Quote
|
Reply
I feel like a pussy for not saying anything yesterday. But the next time it happens I will say something for sure.
I'm just disgusted with the cavalier attitudes parents have for their children. Your kids are like seeds to a garden. Their options are bountiful and abundant so long as you the parent tend the garden correctly and pull out the weeds
**All of these words finding themselves together were greatly astonished and delighted for assuredly, they had never met before**
(This post was
edited
by mojozenmaster on Apr 29, 12 14:22)
Allie
Apr 29, 12 14:49
Post #22 of 32
(820 views)
Re: Let's Discuss Parental Responsibility [mojozenmaster]
[
In reply to
]
Quote
|
Reply
mojozenmaster wrote:
I feel like a pussy for not saying anything yesterday. But the next time it happens I will say something for sure.
I'm just disgusted with the cavalier attitudes parents have for their children. Your kids are like seeds to a garden. Their options are bountiful and abundant so long as you the parent tend the garden correctly and pull out the weeds
I dare say that most of the people in this man's life are treated the same way. I see this happen so much in my line of work. I have children that come to me with various ailments but it usually ends up being that they just wanted some attention from someone that was undivided and face to face.
I am certainly overtaxed at the moment with work, school, etc. but I know my kids, I know what is going on with them and I make a concerted effort to look them in the face and ask them "how was your day", sit back and really LISTEN.
Children are not meant to be an accessory, a prop or some nice way of trying to fix a marriage. Apparently there are not enough folks that got that memo. It is sad and it will come back to bite them in the ass.
mojozenmaster
Apr 29, 12 15:14
Post #23 of 32
(804 views)
Re: Let's Discuss Parental Responsibility [Allie]
[
In reply to
]
Quote
|
Reply
A
ll it takes is showing decency to your fellow human beings = compassion in front of vanity and generosity ahead of promises.
I'll just sit back and watch this country burn to the ground.
**All of these words finding themselves together were greatly astonished and delighted for assuredly, they had never met before**
Allie
Apr 29, 12 15:15
Post #24 of 32
(801 views)
Re: Let's Discuss Parental Responsibility [mojozenmaster]
[
In reply to
]
Quote
|
Reply
mojozenmaster wrote:
A
ll it takes is showing decency to your fellow human beings = compassion in front of vanity and generosity ahead of promises.
I'll just sit back and watch this country burn to the ground.
Yup. Sacrifice and loving others is not the American way.
mojozenmaster
Apr 29, 12 15:38
Post #25 of 32
(784 views)
Re: Let's Discuss Parental Responsibility [Allie]
[
In reply to
]
Quote
|
Reply
Hate will ulitamately divide all of us
**All of these words finding themselves together were greatly astonished and delighted for assuredly, they had never met before**
1
2
View All
Print Thread
this forum
this category
all forums
All words
Any words
Whole Phrase
The New Specialized Wind Tunnel
Will this be a game changer for Specialized, in both sales and product design, or will it not move the sales and design needle versus those in Specialized's competitive set?
Yes, Game Changer
Minor move forward
Won't budge the needle
