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Are you the neighborhood hermit?

travisml

Apr 17, 12 11:57

Post #1 of 21 (1092 views)

Are you the neighborhood hermit?	Quote \| Reply

I've been living in my current home for three years. I found out Sunday that the neighbors one house down have a seven year old daughter. I've never seen this child outside or heard her playing in the backyard. According to another neighbor the child is not newly adopted but in fact has lived there all seven years of her life. I've seen the husband twice and the wife about twice a week as she drives by our home to hers. We (me, wife, and two boys 2 and 13) are usually hanging out in the front yard every day, goofing off, talking, etc as she passes and she will not wave or bat an eye our way.
I know most of the people in the neighborhood from walking the dog every night and I've never seen a blind cracked or the garage door open to their home. Never seen them mowing the yard, washing a car or getting the mail.
It's intriguing to say the least. Does everyone have a person or family like this in their neighborhood?

trav
____________________________________________________
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MJuric

Apr 17, 12 12:05

Post #2 of 21 (1076 views)

Re: Are you the neighborhood hermit? [travisml] [In reply to]	Quote \| Reply

I found out Sunday that the neighbors one house down have a seven year old daughter. I've never seen this child outside or heard her playing in the backyard.

Isn't this relatively common in suburbia these days. This was one of the main reasons my brother decided to move. He said he rarely saw his neighbors out and the ones that he did come to know in some way never wanted to do anything but hang out in their house.

~Matt

BarryP

Apr 17, 12 12:09

Post #3 of 21 (1059 views)

Re: Are you the neighborhood hermit? [MJuric] [In reply to]	Quote \| Reply

We used to play outside all of the time until about 1989. At that point we moved to a new neighborhood and noticed that no one ever played outside. I had always thought it was the neighborhood.

I thne realized that it was cable TV and video games.

In my current neighborhood the kids play out a little, but not much.
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atl_tony

Apr 17, 12 12:15

Post #4 of 21 (1054 views)

Re: Are you the neighborhood hermit? [MJuric] [In reply to]	Quote \| Reply

This feels like a stereotypical response. I live in suburbia - I know all of my neighbors.

We regularly are outside, have the kids running around, playing games, talking, etc. Just this last weekend my neighbor from three doors up came over because her daughter (6) wanted to play with my sons (4 and 7). It turned into an afternoon of water gun fights between me and the kids, and into an evening where about 6 or 7 different sets of neighbors ended up on our front lawn hanging out, having a few drinks, and ordering pizza. Totally unplanned, all because we know each other and have become friends.

We live on corps property - the kids are always outside playing in the woods in one form or another - hardly any TV or video games.

To the OP - to have a 7yo you have never seen out is weird. I'd be concerned about the parents.
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MJuric

Apr 17, 12 12:18

Post #5 of 21 (1044 views)

Re: Are you the neighborhood hermit? [BarryP] [In reply to]	Quote \| Reply

In my current neighborhood the kids play out a little, but not much.

There aren't many kids my sons age in my area. The few that are are rarely outside. The closest house has a bunch of mostly young kids, 18-20'ish somethings', living with an older guy, probably my age. They are outside on occasion but not often.

I can go for a bike ride with my kid on a nice Sunday afternoon into the local subdivision. We'll pass 50-100 houses and I'd bet less than 10% of them have people doing something outside and many of those are adults doing yard work.

~Matt

Tridiot

Apr 17, 12 12:18

Post #6 of 21 (1045 views)

Re: Are you the neighborhood hermit? [MJuric] [In reply to]	Quote \| Reply

This is why I love my neighborhood, lots of really friendly people, out in the good weather, talk to each other, help out with projects, etc. Most of us belong to the same around the corner pool, and just know when to go there on any night during the summer to grill out for dinner. We share food, etc.

It's mostly all middle income whities, but a couple hispanic. I realized two years ago there are almost zero black people in the neighborhood, which I think is really weird and I can't figure out why (Fairfax County, VA is rather diverse). Mix of political views, but our specific street tends to skew conservative.

iRan

Apr 17, 12 12:22

Post #7 of 21 (1037 views)

Re: Are you the neighborhood hermit? [travisml] [In reply to]	Quote \| Reply

We had some neighbors like that. They wouldn't even exit the car until the garage door was down.

When they moved out and the current occupants moved in - who are a great family - we found it he had both the inside and outside of his house covered with camera's. He documented everything that went on from a little control room. Weird.

travisml

Apr 17, 12 12:28

Post #8 of 21 (1026 views)

Re: Are you the neighborhood hermit? [jar1635] [In reply to]	Quote \| Reply

jar1635 wrote:

We had some neighbors like that. They wouldn't even exit the car until the garage door was down.

When they moved out and the current occupants moved in - who are a great family - we found it he had both the inside and outside of his house covered with camera's. He documented everything that went on from a little control room. Weird.

That's exactly what the wife does when she comes home the couple of days a week we see her!

I didn't mean to start a post complaining about my neighborhood. It really is great and we know most everyone except for these folks. There are quite a few kids out playing and we do hang out with various neighbors. I just find it bizarre that this kid is tucked away inside all the freaking time; I never even knew she existed.

trav
____________________________________________________
"As for "xxxxxx"...what can I say? You sound like a dick. If you don't want to answer the question, just shut up." AllezPappa

MJuric

Apr 17, 12 12:28

Post #9 of 21 (1027 views)

Re: Are you the neighborhood hermit? [atl_tony] [In reply to]	Quote \| Reply

This feels like a stereotypical response.

My response is stereotypical or my view? Clearly my view is stereotypical, but stereo types are often formed from the truth.

I know many people living in suburbia all of who have similar complaints. Clearly not ALL suburbs are this way, but I would say this type of suburb is FAR more prevalent than they were 30-40 years ago.

~Matt

atl_tony

Apr 17, 12 12:32

Post #10 of 21 (1023 views)

Re: Are you the neighborhood hermit? [MJuric] [In reply to]	Quote \| Reply

Was talking about the view, obviously. Just wanted to present my n=1 different view.

Heard the other day that loneliness in the suburbs was incredibly high. I can see that - people get wrapped up in their lives and don't take the time to slow down and know their neighbor.
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MJuric

Apr 17, 12 12:38

Post #11 of 21 (1011 views)

Re: Are you the neighborhood hermit? [atl_tony] [In reply to]	Quote \| Reply

Was talking about the view, obviously.

Yes clearly the view is stereotypical, but it is one of those stereotypes that sadly holds a whole lot of truth.

Certainly some neighborhoods are "Active", but I think the ones that aren't are probably becoming the majority.

Like I said I can ride my bike thru one of the subdivisions near my house on a nice day and only see a handful of people out. Cars in front of every house so many are home, just not many outside.

Seems to me that people end up getting "Involved" with more groups outside of their neighborhood and that becomes their "Social outlet". So when they are home they just stay inside.

In some ways I can see that. You can "Pick" people you hang out with in "Away groups" much easier than you can your neighbors.

~Matt

Mendeldave

Apr 17, 12 13:06

Post #12 of 21 (978 views)

Re: Are you the neighborhood hermit? [travisml] [In reply to]	Quote \| Reply

My nabe has some weird ones too... not sure about hermits but I'm sure I just don't see them.

My hood has:
Mr. Mets Guy - a really really fat man who EVERY DAY, ALL YEAR dresses in head-to-toes Mets gear and hangs out at the bodega below my apartment
Mr. Laundrymat guy -this old guy who runs a laundry a block over from me, hangs out at the French Cafe I go to daily -he just sits there and chats with the staff and randomly busses tables, even though he doesn't work there. The staff tolerate him, but would rather he disappear.
The Creepy Family Walkers -this extremely obese and slightly mentally handicapped woman strolls up and down the street alllll day long with her two handicapped (thin) daughters who look like they're in their early teens but my neighbor swears they're in their 30s. If you engage in conversation with them, out of friendliness, they never leave you alone and will ask things like "What's that hat for" or whats in your (gym) bag, or, recently, they asked me why I eat bread (I wasn't carrying any bread, btw).
The Skeleton -this old guy who is so bone thin he looks like he is dying, who also walks up and down my street daily. Doesn't seem to have a job; would scare any kid
Tattooed Face guy -he's friendly, talks to a lot of people and seems to have a job (I see him heading to the subway when I do, and returning when I do). But, his whole face is tattooed. Who DOES that? (Actually I saw a woman at my bank today who could be his wife I guess, so some people choose that style).
The Scrapbooking Bum -probably not PC to call her a bum, but she lives down in the subway, sleeps there, eats there and clearly pees there, all the while she's scrapbooking. She says hi to me when I walk by since I once gave her a slice of pizza. She yells at random other people though. Probably related to the Creepy Family Walkers.
The Pet Store Drug Dealer -this guy can't possibly drive all the pimped out vehicles he seems to have by selling cat food in a tiny hole in the wall store. He hands people envelops a lot. Often enough that my wife and I like to count the number of "deals" we see each week and joke about it. He's nice and has his lacky carry up boxes of litter when my wife buys (cat litter) from him.

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tigerchik

Apr 17, 12 13:57

Post #13 of 21 (934 views)

Re: Are you the neighborhood hermit? [travisml] [In reply to]	Quote \| Reply

I am the office hermit... I'm always trying to hide so I can get work done...
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last tri in 83

Apr 17, 12 14:05

Post #14 of 21 (925 views)

Re: Are you the neighborhood hermit? [travisml] [In reply to]	Quote \| Reply

pssst... come a little closer I have a secret ~~

people are weird.

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To err is human, to forgive, canine

Katy

Apr 17, 12 14:12

Post #15 of 21 (911 views)

Re: Are you the neighborhood hermit? [travisml] [In reply to]	Quote \| Reply

We knew one set of neighbors before moving in (they bought in the phase that completed before ours). There are a lot of young families with small kids, too young for my daughter to hang out with. We've gotten to know several of the neighbors through their dogs playing with ours.

The HOA hosts pot luck socials every once in a while, but we're not home much on the weekends so we've never been to one. Also, I hate the HOA.
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Duffy

Apr 17, 12 14:15

Post #16 of 21 (908 views)

Re: Are you the neighborhood hermit? [travisml] [In reply to]	Quote \| Reply

Being that you seem to know everything about everyone in your hood it's obvious that you are a creepy spying freak. Maybe these "hermits" are really the only smart people in the area and they have been keeping their 7 year old away from you out of fear of your creepy stalking ways.
When you're "goofing around in the front yard" all day are you wearing a Speedo? Or maybe nothing but a t-shirt and fanny pack?

Freak!

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........

Apr 17, 12 14:54

Post #17 of 21 (874 views)

Re: Are you the neighborhood hermit? [travisml] [In reply to]	Quote \| Reply

Are you the jerk across my street who has his weekly BBQ on the freaking front yard, with music, and who likes to rev-up the engine of his
ford mustand shelby to impress his guest?

I'm the hermit...I'm trying to nap after long workouts...jerk.

last tri in 83

Apr 18, 12 8:00

Post #18 of 21 (779 views)

Re: Are you the neighborhood hermit? [Francois] [In reply to]	Quote \| Reply

Front yard parties. I love it! Front yard or garage parties seem to be a tradition with the hispanic population here.

_____________________________________________
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........

Apr 18, 12 8:02

Post #19 of 21 (773 views)

Re: Are you the neighborhood hermit? [last tri in 83] [In reply to]	Quote \| Reply

Yup...it's a hispanic family. However, I live in El Paso. 80% are Hispanics, and it's far from the norm. People go in the backyard.

toolman605

Apr 19, 12 6:56

Post #20 of 21 (681 views)

Re: Are you the neighborhood hermit? [last tri in 83] [In reply to]	Quote \| Reply

last tri in 83 wrote:

Front yard parties. I love it! Front yard or garage parties seem to be a tradition with the hispanic population here.

WTF!!! This has just started in our neighborhood. I don't want to see your crap or your dirty kids in the front yard! That is why people have back yards. Really!
Now we have BBQ's and lawn chairs and toys just sitting in the front yard. How did this possibly become acceptable?

jordo_99

Apr 19, 12 9:11

Post #21 of 21 (642 views)

Re: Are you the neighborhood hermit? [travisml] [In reply to]	Quote \| Reply

I'm very much a half hermit, half outdoors-men...I'm not sure if my roommates like it or not:

If I'm in the house I'm down stairs in my room - Either watching TV or playing video games (25...it's acceptable OK :P).
We grill or sit around the firepit at least once a week and mow/etc. I also bike/run most days and we'll go across the street and play some sort of sport (basketball, soccer, football, frisbie) a few times a week.
I'd say we're probably on the more outgoing side of the neighborhood but we keep to ourselves most of the time as we're all mid-20s and everyone else is either retired or 30-40 with kids (just not much to build a relationship off of).

I guess the point of this post is to contrast that my roommates and I think I'm a total hermit but all my neighbors probably think I'm not.