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Lance Armstrong Facts
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Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 8:33
Post #1 of 58 (10174 views)
It looks to me that Lance Armstrong has become the new Chuck Norris...

Quick Facts:

- If you have five dollars and Lance Armstrong has five dollars, Lance Armstrong has more money than you.
- There is no 'ctrl' button on Lance Armstrong's computer. Lance Armstrong is always in control.
- Apple pays Lance Armstrong 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
- Lance Armstrong can sneeze with his eyes open.
- Lance Armstrong can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
- Lance Armstrong is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
- Lance Armstrong destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Please add to the list...
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon] [ In reply to ]
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brikins13
Sep 12, 08 8:45
Post #2 of 58 (10136 views)
disagree
looks more to me like someone took Chuck Norris facts, and substituted "Lance Armstrong"

Chuck wouldnt be very happy, you might wanna duck, i see a round-house kick in your near future
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon] [ In reply to ]
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Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 8:45
Post #3 of 58 (10135 views)
- Lance Armstrong can win Connect Four in only THREE moves.
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon] [ In reply to ]
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pito00
Sep 12, 08 8:47
Post #4 of 58 (10115 views)
Lance Armstrong can make me tired of the 2009 bike racing season in 2008.
-------------------------------
Ignorance is bliss until they take your bliss away.
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [brikins13] [ In reply to ]
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Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 8:48
Post #5 of 58 (10109 views)
Chuck Norris doesn't know about this website... If he knew he would delete the Internet.
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [pito00] [ In reply to ]
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Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 8:50
Post #6 of 58 (10087 views)
The active ingredient in Red Bull is Lance Armstrong's sweat.
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon] [ In reply to ]
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paul_tx
Sep 12, 08 8:51
Post #7 of 58 (10081 views)
God bought a LiveStrong bracelet.
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [paul_tx] [ In reply to ]
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Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 8:52
Post #8 of 58 (10072 views)
In Reply To:
God bought a LiveStrong bracelet.
Good one.

Lance Armstrong is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [paul_tx] [ In reply to ]
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slowhokie
Sep 12, 08 8:58
Post #9 of 58 (10029 views)
Haha great one.
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon] [ In reply to ]
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bvfrompc
Sep 12, 08 8:58
Post #10 of 58 (10024 views)
Lance will finish this weekend's 12 hour mountain bike race in 9 hours.
Last edited by: bvfrompc: Sep 12, 08 8:59
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [pito00] [ In reply to ]
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Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 8:59
Post #11 of 58 (10016 views)
If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Lance would ever race himself, he'd win. Period.
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [paul_tx] [ In reply to ]
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ACTN3
Sep 12, 08 8:59
Post #12 of 58 (10013 views)
 
those bracelets are in fact shreds coming of his tires when he puts the hammer down.

"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative." Oscar Wilde
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [paul_tx] [ In reply to ]
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Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 9:01
Post #13 of 58 (9998 views)
Lance Armstrong doesn't play god. Playing is for children.
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [ACTN3] [ In reply to ]
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Herbert
Sep 12, 08 9:03
Post #14 of 58 (9983 views)
Lance Armstrong is the king of comedy

Check out his comedy premiere.
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Herbert] [ In reply to ]
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MHT
Sep 12, 08 9:12
Post #15 of 58 (9933 views)
Lance Armstrong has gotten an email to his blackberry for every post on this thread where his name is referenced. He is reading this right now as I type this for motivation. Actually, he's know's that I'm going to type his name before I even do.
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon] [ In reply to ]
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paul_tx
Sep 12, 08 9:29
Post #16 of 58 (9847 views)
Lance goes skydiving with some buddies.

When they put on their parachutes to get ready to jump from the plane, Lance puts a HTFU band around his wrist and leaps out of the plane.
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [paul_tx] [ In reply to ]
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Gary Mc
Sep 12, 08 10:01
Post #17 of 58 (9712 views)
Outer space only exists because its afraid to be on the same planet as Lance Armstrong.

Gary Mc
Gary Mc
Did I mention I did Kona
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Gary Mc] [ In reply to ]
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Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 10:16
Post #18 of 58 (9643 views)
There is no such thing as global warming. Lance was cold, so he turned the sun up.
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon] [ In reply to ]
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TomkR
Sep 12, 08 10:17
Post #19 of 58 (9637 views)
Lance Armstron vs Mike Ditka.... the world would cease to exist.
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon] [ In reply to ]
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Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 10:22
Post #20 of 58 (9615 views)
Lance didn't dope to win the Tour... It was the peloton who doped trying to beat Lance.
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon] [ In reply to ]
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Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 10:27
Post #21 of 58 (9592 views)
While urinating, Lance is easily capable of welding a cracked titanium frame.
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [slowhokie] [ In reply to ]
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Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 10:28
Post #22 of 58 (9578 views)
Lance always knows the EXACT location of Megan Fox.
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon] [ In reply to ]
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ShoMyOFace
Sep 12, 08 10:29
Post #23 of 58 (9571 views)
It is no coinsidence that the Hadron Collider, and Lance's return announcement are in the same week. The black hole created is really the space left due to Lance not giving a shit about the rest of the peloton and their reactions to him coming back.

http://theworldthroumyeyes.tumblr.com/
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon] [ In reply to ]
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FatandSlow
Sep 12, 08 10:33
Post #24 of 58 (9553 views)
"Lance didn't dope to win the Tour... It was the peloton who doped trying to beat Lance."

Ding ding ding! We have a winner!

ROFLOL!
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [FatandSlow] [ In reply to ]
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Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 10:42
Post #25 of 58 (9508 views)
"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Lance calls the pile of cyclists he has beaten in the mountains.
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