Bike Shops
Coaches
Fitters
Race Calendar
*NEW* Running Stores
Stack & Reach
Training Log
Triathlon Clubs
MAIN
INDEX
RULES &
LEGEND
LOG
IN
Search
this forum
this category
all forums
for
All words
Any words
Whole Phrase
(
options
)
Newsletter Signup
Slowtwitch Forums
:
Triathlon Forum
:
Lance Armstrong Facts
1
2
3
View All
Tri Forum
Classifieds
Lavender Room
Jobs
The Womens
Print Thread
Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 8:33
Post #1 of 58 (4712 views)
Lance Armstrong Facts
Can't Post
It looks to me that Lance Armstrong has become the new Chuck Norris...
Quick Facts:
- If you have five dollars and Lance Armstrong has five dollars, Lance Armstrong has more money than you.
- There is no 'ctrl' button on Lance Armstrong's computer. Lance Armstrong is always in control.
- Apple pays Lance Armstrong 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
- Lance Armstrong can sneeze with his eyes open.
- Lance Armstrong can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
- Lance Armstrong is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
- Lance Armstrong destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Please add to the list...
brikins13
Sep 12, 08 8:45
Post #2 of 58 (4674 views)
Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon]
[
In reply to
]
Can't Post
disagree
looks more to me like someone took Chuck Norris facts, and substituted "Lance Armstrong"
Chuck wouldnt be very happy, you might wanna duck, i see a round-house kick in your near future
_____________________________________
Six five, two hundred plus...
61 P2C
62 AllezComp
Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 8:45
Post #3 of 58 (4673 views)
Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon]
[
In reply to
]
Can't Post
- Lance Armstrong can win Connect Four in only THREE moves.
pito00
Sep 12, 08 8:47
Post #4 of 58 (4653 views)
Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon]
[
In reply to
]
Can't Post
Lance Armstrong can make me tired of the 2009 bike racing season in 2008.
-------------------------------
Ignorance is bliss until they take your bliss away.
Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 8:48
Post #5 of 58 (4647 views)
Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [brikins13]
[
In reply to
]
Can't Post
Chuck Norris doesn't know about this website... If he knew he would delete the Internet.
Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 8:50
Post #6 of 58 (4625 views)
Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [pito00]
[
In reply to
]
Can't Post
The active ingredient in Red Bull is Lance Armstrong's sweat.
paul_tx
Sep 12, 08 8:51
Post #7 of 58 (4619 views)
Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon]
[
In reply to
]
Can't Post
God bought a LiveStrong bracelet.
Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 8:52
Post #8 of 58 (4610 views)
Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [paul_tx]
[
In reply to
]
Can't Post
In Reply To:
God bought a LiveStrong bracelet.
Good one.
Lance Armstrong is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.
slowhokie
Sep 12, 08 8:58
Post #9 of 58 (4567 views)
Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [paul_tx]
[
In reply to
]
Can't Post
Haha great one.
bvfrompc
Sep 12, 08 8:58
Post #10 of 58 (4562 views)
Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon]
[
In reply to
]
Can't Post
Lance will finish this weekend's 12 hour mountain bike race in 9 hours.
(This post was
edited
by bvfrompc on Sep 12, 08 8:59)
Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 8:59
Post #11 of 58 (4554 views)
Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [pito00]
[
In reply to
]
Can't Post
If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Lance would ever race himself, he'd win. Period.
ACTN3
Sep 12, 08 8:59
Post #12 of 58 (4551 views)
Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [paul_tx]
[
In reply to
]
Can't Post
those bracelets are in fact shreds coming of his tires when he puts the hammer down.
"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative." Oscar Wilde
Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 9:01
Post #13 of 58 (4536 views)
Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [paul_tx]
[
In reply to
]
Can't Post
Lance Armstrong doesn't play god. Playing is for children.
Herbert
Sep 12, 08 9:03
Post #14 of 58 (4521 views)
Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [ACTN3]
[
In reply to
]
Can't Post
Lance Armstrong is the king of comedy
Check out his
comedy premiere
.
MHT
Sep 12, 08 9:12
Post #15 of 58 (4471 views)
Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Herbert]
[
In reply to
]
Can't Post
Lance Armstrong has gotten an email to his blackberry for every post on this thread where his name is referenced. He is reading this right now as I type this for motivation. Actually, he's know's that I'm going to type his name before I even do.
paul_tx
Sep 12, 08 9:29
Post #16 of 58 (4385 views)
Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon]
[
In reply to
]
Can't Post
Lance goes skydiving with some buddies.
When they put on their parachutes to get ready to jump from the plane, Lance puts a HTFU band around his wrist and leaps out of the plane.
Gary Mc
Sep 12, 08 10:01
Post #17 of 58 (4250 views)
Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [paul_tx]
[
In reply to
]
Can't Post
Outer space only exists because its afraid to be on the same planet as Lance Armstrong.
Gary Mc
Gary Mc
www.xterrasnowvalley.com
Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 10:16
Post #18 of 58 (4181 views)
Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Gary Mc]
[
In reply to
]
Can't Post
There is no such thing as global warming. Lance was cold, so he turned the sun up.
TomkR
Sep 12, 08 10:17
Post #19 of 58 (4175 views)
Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon]
[
In reply to
]
Can't Post
Lance Armstron vs Mike Ditka.... the world would cease to exist.
Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 10:22
Post #20 of 58 (4153 views)
Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon]
[
In reply to
]
Can't Post
Lance didn't dope to win the Tour... It was the peloton who doped trying to beat Lance.
Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 10:27
Post #21 of 58 (4130 views)
Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon]
[
In reply to
]
Can't Post
While urinating, Lance is easily capable of welding a cracked titanium frame.
Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 10:28
Post #22 of 58 (4116 views)
Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [slowhokie]
[
In reply to
]
Can't Post
Lance always knows the EXACT location of Megan Fox.
ShoMyOFace
Sep 12, 08 10:29
Post #23 of 58 (4109 views)
Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon]
[
In reply to
]
Can't Post
It is no coinsidence that the Hadron Collider, and Lance's return announcement are in the same week. The black hole created is really the space left due to Lance not giving a shit about the rest of the peloton and their reactions to him coming back.
“I’m thinking I might take that new chick from logistics. If things go well, I might be showing her my “O” face…..you know what I’m talking about………” - Drew “Office Space”
FatandSlow
Sep 12, 08 10:33
Post #24 of 58 (4091 views)
Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon]
[
In reply to
]
Can't Post
"Lance didn't dope to win the Tour... It was the peloton who doped trying to beat Lance."
Ding ding ding! We have a winner!
ROFLOL!
Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 10:42
Post #25 of 58 (4046 views)
Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [FatandSlow]
[
In reply to
]
Can't Post
"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Lance calls the pile of cyclists he has beaten in the mountains.
1
2
3
View All
Print Thread
Tour withdrawal?
Now that there's no morning Tour stage, you feel:
Bored
Lost
Set free
MAIN
RULES &
LOG
