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Lance Armstrong Facts
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Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 8:33
Post #1 of 58
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Lance Armstrong Facts
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It looks to me that Lance Armstrong has become the new Chuck Norris...
Quick Facts:
- If you have five dollars and Lance Armstrong has five dollars, Lance Armstrong has more money than you.
- There is no 'ctrl' button on Lance Armstrong's computer. Lance Armstrong is always in control.
- Apple pays Lance Armstrong 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
- Lance Armstrong can sneeze with his eyes open.
- Lance Armstrong can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
- Lance Armstrong is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
- Lance Armstrong destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Please add to the list...
brikins13
Sep 12, 08 8:45
Post #2 of 58
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon]
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disagree
looks more to me like someone took Chuck Norris facts, and substituted "Lance Armstrong"
Chuck wouldnt be very happy, you might wanna duck, i see a round-house kick in your near future
_____________________________________
Six five, two hundred plus...
61 P2C
62 AllezComp
Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 8:45
Post #3 of 58
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon]
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- Lance Armstrong can win Connect Four in only THREE moves.
pito00
Sep 12, 08 8:47
Post #4 of 58
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon]
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Lance Armstrong can make me tired of the 2009 bike racing season in 2008.
-------------------------------
Ignorance is bliss until they take your bliss away.
Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 8:48
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [brikins13]
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Chuck Norris doesn't know about this website... If he knew he would delete the Internet.
Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 8:50
Post #6 of 58
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [pito00]
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The active ingredient in Red Bull is Lance Armstrong's sweat.
paul_tx
Sep 12, 08 8:51
Post #7 of 58
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon]
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God bought a LiveStrong bracelet.
Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 8:52
Post #8 of 58
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [paul_tx]
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In Reply To:
God bought a LiveStrong bracelet.
Good one.
Lance Armstrong is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.
slowhokie
Sep 12, 08 8:58
Post #9 of 58
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [paul_tx]
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Haha great one.
bvfrompc
Sep 12, 08 8:58
Post #10 of 58
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon]
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Lance will finish this weekend's 12 hour mountain bike race in 9 hours.
(This post was
edited
by bvfrompc on Sep 12, 08 8:59)
Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 8:59
Post #11 of 58
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [pito00]
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If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Lance would ever race himself, he'd win. Period.
ACTN3
Sep 12, 08 8:59
Post #12 of 58
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [paul_tx]
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those bracelets are in fact shreds coming of his tires when he puts the hammer down.
"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative." Oscar Wilde
Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 9:01
Post #13 of 58
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [paul_tx]
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Lance Armstrong doesn't play god. Playing is for children.
Herbert
Sep 12, 08 9:03
Post #14 of 58
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [ACTN3]
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Lance Armstrong is the king of comedy
Check out his
comedy premiere
.
MHT
Sep 12, 08 9:12
Post #15 of 58
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Herbert]
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Lance Armstrong has gotten an email to his blackberry for every post on this thread where his name is referenced. He is reading this right now as I type this for motivation. Actually, he's know's that I'm going to type his name before I even do.
paul_tx
Sep 12, 08 9:29
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon]
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Lance goes skydiving with some buddies.
When they put on their parachutes to get ready to jump from the plane, Lance puts a HTFU band around his wrist and leaps out of the plane.
Gary Mc
Sep 12, 08 10:01
Post #17 of 58
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [paul_tx]
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Outer space only exists because its afraid to be on the same planet as Lance Armstrong.
Gary Mc
Gary Mc
http://www.xterrasnowvalley.com
Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 10:16
Post #18 of 58
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Gary Mc]
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There is no such thing as global warming. Lance was cold, so he turned the sun up.
TomkR
Sep 12, 08 10:17
Post #19 of 58
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon]
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Lance Armstron vs Mike Ditka.... the world would cease to exist.
Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 10:22
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon]
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Lance didn't dope to win the Tour... It was the peloton who doped trying to beat Lance.
Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 10:27
Post #21 of 58
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon]
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While urinating, Lance is easily capable of welding a cracked titanium frame.
Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 10:28
Post #22 of 58
(5557 views)
Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [slowhokie]
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Lance always knows the EXACT location of Megan Fox.
ShoMyOFace
Sep 12, 08 10:29
Post #23 of 58
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon]
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It is no coinsidence that the Hadron Collider, and Lance's return announcement are in the same week. The black hole created is really the space left due to Lance not giving a shit about the rest of the peloton and their reactions to him coming back.
http://theworldthroumyeyes.tumblr.com/
FatandSlow
Sep 12, 08 10:33
Post #24 of 58
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Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [Miguelon]
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"Lance didn't dope to win the Tour... It was the peloton who doped trying to beat Lance."
Ding ding ding! We have a winner!
ROFLOL!
Miguelon
Sep 12, 08 10:42
Post #25 of 58
(5487 views)
Re: Lance Armstrong Facts [FatandSlow]
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"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Lance calls the pile of cyclists he has beaten in the mountains.
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