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is it me?
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leslieW
Jun 1, 08 20:19
Post #1 of 12 (673 views)
is it me?
Can't Post
I can count on one hand how many female friends I have. I've always been drawn to friendships with men because quite honestly its just 'less work'. Now that I'm away from a job outside of the home (my job now is M.O.M.) and away from my Running/Tri group I've lost touch with the majority of my male friend/acquaintences. So, the few female friends I have are typically cool - but there is one friend where I feel as if we've jumped on a rollercoaster ride with one another.
She is a wonderful friend and I truly cherish our friendship....but she can wear me out. She is HIGHLY sensitve and in my mind "little" things will completely stress her out. My husband always jokes around and says, "Ah O....is "xx" OVERWHELMED again".
So here is the latest deal; she feels like I'm not making our friendship a priority (which I haven't....she speaks to my children in a really crappy way and I've tried to talk to her about it but its not registering - and sometimes the friendship just takes more energy then I have). I'm not ready to ditch the friendship and will once again have to have "the friggin' talk but for cry'n out loud.....please tell me that there are other girls out there that would like their female friendships to exist without the damn drama!
____________________________
Life is Short...Run Long
trackie clm
Jun 1, 08 21:21
Post #2 of 12 (660 views)
Re: is it me? [wolffpack]
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>>I can count on one hand how many female friends I have. I've always been drawn to friendships with men <<
Not just you. Except for KEJ and our friend J here and KestrelKerri and our friends B and J, all down in SoCal, the vast majority of my best buds are guys. I love the Mens.
clm
http://ironclm.typepad.com
kbee
Jun 1, 08 21:25
Post #3 of 12 (659 views)
Re: is it me? [wolffpack]
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A friend is someone who you enjoy being around. Now some old friend can get hard to be around as they are going through something, but you stick with them because they are friends. If this person is causing you so much grief that you are posting on ST about it, she isnt a friend. I also prefer male friends but there is something about the girl friend that is great and its harder to find. If its more draining than pleasant to be around her then start being less available.
determination
Jun 2, 08 5:48
Post #4 of 12 (605 views)
Re: is it me? [kbee]
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It's OK! I have found that my friends are either guys or gals who aren't "very girly" in the sense that they are straight up and don't pull a bunch of weird girl stuff... like being extra sensitive, or manipulative or passive agressive. I just don't have time for that stuff in my life, and it's OK. It sounds like you don't either. Well, folks like us may have fewer female friends, but I can guarantee, those friendships are better deeper and more meaningful. Hang in there! You'll adjust to this new road in your life and it will be just super.
kittycat
Jun 2, 08 6:26
Post #5 of 12 (584 views)
Re: is it me? [determination]
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i agree with this. mens are great, but a true woman friend is something very special.
the OP sounds like she has a PIA friend who just needs to get a life or go away.
DawnT
Jun 2, 08 6:27
Post #6 of 12 (584 views)
Re: is it me? [wolffpack]
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Totally agree with you! Most of my friends have always been guys or else really laid back women. I could never figure out why so many women are so uptight about the smallest of things!!
QRgirl
Jun 2, 08 7:37
Post #7 of 12 (549 views)
Re: is it me? [wolffpack]
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This isn't me is it? ;-) I love your girls.
QRgirl
Jun 2, 08 7:43
Post #8 of 12 (543 views)
Re: is it me? [wolffpack]
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You know I feel the same way and that it's OK in my book to break up with friends. Why spend time and energy with someone who doesn't make you feel good? I realize that freindships can be like romantic realtionship where it's not all good all the time, but for the most part they should both be rewarding and enjoyable, not stressful.
deee
Jun 2, 08 8:23
Post #9 of 12 (523 views)
Re: is it me? [QRgirl]
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In Reply To
it's OK in my book to break up with friends.
I was just having a conversation with a co-worker about breaking up with friends. I asked him his thoughts on how it was appropriate to do so - you know, like a relationship: after 2 dates you can do it by phone, etc. His response: by facebook. haha.
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cuds is retired.
leslieW
Jun 2, 08 13:48
Post #10 of 12 (454 views)
Re: is it me? [QRgirl]
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Of course not!! :) You are as easy going as I am in the friend department. LOL You're funny.
____________________________
Life is Short...Run Long
PirateGirl
Jun 2, 08 13:57
Post #11 of 12 (450 views)
Re: is it me? [wolffpack]
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Yep, I walked away from a whole lotta drama in my previous life and left a few friends. One or two of them were good friends, but they just couldn't see the bad ones were problems and would always be.
Just last week I 'broke up' with a very good friend. It made me think hard about some how some of my friendships have been lately and I'm seriously considering 'dumping' another one. I've thought about it before but I just have to decide if I'd rather be lonely or taken advantage of.
What Am I Up To?
cindyloohoo
Jun 3, 08 7:38
Post #12 of 12 (329 views)
Re: is it me? [wolffpack]
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Nope, not just you :)
True
friends, can count 'em on one hand. I refer to them as the ones I can call at 2 in the morning if I have to.
So here is the latest deal; she feels like I'm not making our friendship a priority (which I haven't....she speaks to my children in a really crappy way and I've tried to talk to her about it but its not registering - and sometimes the friendship just takes more energy then I have). I'm not ready to ditch the friendship and will once again have to have "the friggin' talk but for cry'n out loud.....please tell me that there are other girls out there that would like their female friendships to exist without the damn drama!
I think the bigger question here is Why? Why don't you want to ditch this friendship? She speaks to your children, in your words, "crappy" and your attempts to rectify it don't work. What exactly are you getting from this woman that's enriching your life?
Sometimes, it's just time to move on.
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