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Slowtwitch Forums: The Womens:
how long do i make him wait for....you know

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JenHS

Jul 10, 08 16:01

Post #26 of 68 (1821 views)

Re: how long do i make him wait for....you know [tri_2b_athlete] [In reply to]	Can't Post

Good for you. Go with what makes you the most comfortable and is true to who you are. In the heat of the moment decisions can lead to a lot of regrets.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jen - Me | The Boss | Ultraman Canada Relay 2009!

Large

Jul 11, 08 10:12

Post #27 of 68 (1711 views)

Re: how long do i make him wait for....you know [tri_2b_athlete] [In reply to]	Can't Post

In Reply To

I'm starting to get attached to some of you people and I don't even know who you are.

...and how long are you going to make them wait? Just kidding.

erichollins

Jul 13, 08 14:41

Post #28 of 68 (1536 views)

Re: how long do i make him wait for....you know [Katy] [In reply to]	Can't Post

You two girls are unforgettable.
--
Patience isn't a virtue. Patience is a waste of my time.
http://trainingoferic.blogspot.com/

trackie clm

Jul 13, 08 15:47

Post #29 of 68 (1518 views)

Re: how long do i make him wait for....you know [erichollins] [In reply to]	Can't Post

In Reply To

You two girls are unforgettable.

Which two?????

clm

http://ironclm.typepad.com

erichollins

Jul 13, 08 16:01

Post #30 of 68 (1516 views)

Re: how long do i make him wait for....you know [trackie clm] [In reply to]	Can't Post

Katy and QRgirl. Of course Katy is probably watching me type this.
--
Patience isn't a virtue. Patience is a waste of my time.
http://trainingoferic.blogspot.com/

Learn

Jul 14, 08 0:04

Post #31 of 68 (1422 views)

Re: how long do i make him wait for....you know [tri_2b_athlete] [In reply to]	Can't Post

Aren't you worth someone who cares about you enough not to make you his side-dish?

Tell him to call you when the divorce is final. Not just for sex, but for dating, too.

Use to be a married guy would have to pay for it.

tri_2b_athlete

Jul 14, 08 7:44

Post #32 of 68 (1369 views)

Re: how long do i make him wait for....you know [Learn] [In reply to]	Can't Post

I did tell him that, and he respected it. But then I ran into him and we decided to be just friends and that lasted about a month before we crossed over into smoochy territory again. I get what you're saying, and I'm trying.

Katy

Jul 14, 08 9:47

Post #33 of 68 (1327 views)

Re: how long do i make him wait for....you know [erichollins] [In reply to]	Can't Post

Of course Katy is probably watching me type this.

I don't have to watch. I have a special computer progam that tracks everyting you do online. That way I can go for a ride or take a nap without neglecting my stalking duties.
---------------------------------------
Awww, Katy's not all THAT evil. Only slightly evil. In a good way. - JasoninHalifax
If Katy wants it that way, then that's the way Katy gets it.-big kahuna

Learn

Jul 14, 08 10:38

Post #34 of 68 (1299 views)

Re: how long do i make him wait for....you know [tri_2b_athlete] [In reply to]	Can't Post

There are a lot of good guys out there who are single, financially independent, attractive and have no kids. They are looking for you; return the favor.

erichollins

Jul 14, 08 10:44

Post #35 of 68 (1292 views)

Re: how long do i make him wait for....you know [Katy] [In reply to]	Can't Post

OK, then, what is my favorite type of porn?
--
Patience isn't a virtue. Patience is a waste of my time.
http://trainingoferic.blogspot.com/

Katy

Jul 14, 08 11:00

Post #36 of 68 (1286 views)

Re: how long do i make him wait for....you know [erichollins] [In reply to]	Can't Post

Midget.
---------------------------------------
Awww, Katy's not all THAT evil. Only slightly evil. In a good way. - JasoninHalifax
If Katy wants it that way, then that's the way Katy gets it.-big kahuna

erichollins

Jul 14, 08 11:03

Post #37 of 68 (1283 views)

Re: how long do i make him wait for....you know [Katy] [In reply to]	Can't Post

Damnit! You are stalking me! I just love seeing little people try so hard!
--
Patience isn't a virtue. Patience is a waste of my time.
http://trainingoferic.blogspot.com/

tri_2b_athlete

Jul 14, 08 13:55

Post #38 of 68 (1247 views)

Re: how long do i make him wait for....you know [Learn] [In reply to]	Can't Post

In Reply To

There are a lot of good guys out there who are single, financially independent, attractive and have no kids. They are looking for you; return the favor.

"and have no kids...."

This is the problem. I only date men who have kids. I have two of my own and don't want any more. In my experience, men who don't have kids fall into one of two categories:

1. They want some (like I said I'm done.)

2. They don't want kids. Why not? Do they not like kids? Well, I have two so that's a problem. And even if they do like kids, most of them do not understand my life. So far.....baaaad luck with men with no kids.

Learn

Jul 14, 08 14:07

Post #39 of 68 (1240 views)

Re: how long do i make him wait for....you know [tri_2b_athlete] [In reply to]	Can't Post

Perhaps go on a hiatus from standard relationships until yours are 18. I guess there is a desire to have discreet relationships if you can be careful about it but I would imagine if you have minor children they've had enough drama in their lives as it is without mommy dating/re-marrying/etc. The Brady Bunch wasn't real.

(This post was edited by Learn on Jul 14, 08 14:07)

tri_2b_athlete

Jul 14, 08 14:13

Post #40 of 68 (1233 views)

Re: how long do i make him wait for....you know [Learn] [In reply to]	Can't Post

Exactly. The discretion part is easy. I'm only available when they're with their dad. I do want the not-so-standard-relationships to last a while and be more than booty calls though, which brings me back to my original post.

Katy

Jul 14, 08 14:21

Post #41 of 68 (1229 views)

Re: how long do i make him wait for....you know [Learn] [In reply to]	Can't Post

Both of my parents wre previously married and had children. 5 kids combined then they married and had me. That's real.

As a single parent I am very careful about dating and who meets my daughter. Me being in a relationship is not added drama for her. She knows she always comes first and does not have to compete for me. Kids are quite adaptable for the most part. If you're not happy, your kids won't be happy.
---------------------------------------
Awww, Katy's not all THAT evil. Only slightly evil. In a good way. - JasoninHalifax
If Katy wants it that way, then that's the way Katy gets it.-big kahuna

Marco in BC

Jul 14, 08 14:23

Post #42 of 68 (1229 views)

Re: how long do i make him wait for....you know [tri_2b_athlete] [In reply to]	Can't Post

In Reply To

1. They want some (like I said I'm done.)

2. They don't want kids. Why not? Do they not like kids? Well, I have two so that's a problem. And even if they do like kids, most of them do not understand my life. So far.....baaaad luck with men with no kids.

have you ever thought about

3. they like kids, but not babies

'kids' is a very generic term, being around a 2 year old is very different from being around a 6 year old or a 10 year old, or a teenager.

Vetoing guys just because they don't have any kids seems a bit short-sighted, but then again women veto guys based on all sorts of random stuff (for example height, as if a guy can do anything about being born 5'5" or 6'5") so if it works for you...

--
A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.

tri_2b_athlete

Jul 14, 08 14:43

Post #43 of 68 (1217 views)

Re: how long do i make him wait for....you know [Marco in BC] [In reply to]	Can't Post

In my experience, a man who does not have kids does not understand my lack of time for him. And until I'm with someone for a long long time, he is not welcome to be around my kids. I've been divorced for 6 years and they've only met two men that I've dated. They hated one (which was miserable for everyone involved) and they got attached to the other one. They still ask about him. All three of us had broken hearts when he left.

It's not random; it's bad experiences that I don't want to experience again. I'm sure there's some bad experience you've had with women/woman that has made you not want to even "go there" and it's probably not her height.

Marco in BC

Jul 14, 08 15:17

Post #44 of 68 (1199 views)

Re: how long do i make him wait for....you know [tri_2b_athlete] [In reply to]	Can't Post

I think the issue is more finding a guy that is ok with you having limited time available, said guy could have kids, or could have something else going for him that limits his available time as well... it's not like parents are the only people in the world that can relate to lack of availability. But in any case, since this criteria seems to work for you...

one thing is, though, this guy not only is not divorced yet, he has kids in the picture (since you don't date childless guys), does he still live with his "ex" or spends significant time with her "for the kids"? Personally if I was going to consider dating somebody with kids wanting them to have a black-on-white divorce with custody agreement would be even more of a priority.

--
A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.

trackie clm

Jul 14, 08 15:20

Post #45 of 68 (1197 views)

Re: how long do i make him wait for....you know [tri_2b_athlete] [In reply to]	Can't Post

>>It's not random; it's bad experiences that I don't want to experience again.<<

So you expect all your future experiences to be good? It's life and there is good and bad.

And you never know how someone might respond to kids. There are some people who have said they can't stand kids (yes, I'll raise my hand), but when presented with the opportunity, we may just change our mind. It's happening in my case.

clm

http://ironclm.typepad.com

Learn

Jul 14, 08 17:36

Post #46 of 68 (1161 views)

Re: how long do i make him wait for....you know [tri_2b_athlete] [In reply to]	Can't Post

Yeah, most women have that nesting instinct, particularly the older the get, where they don't want to just booty call. I don't think that the guys really want more than that, though. There's the ever popular MILF/Cougar tract, and then there are batteries. I'm guessing reconciliation with Dad is out of the question?

Regardless; the guy in question is married. Let it go. I can attest it's not worth the trouble. If anything, try to encourage him to fix his marraige if that's possible rather than helping to pull it apart.

Learn

Jul 14, 08 17:40

Post #47 of 68 (1159 views)

Re: how long do i make him wait for....you know [Katy] [In reply to]	Can't Post

If you're not happy, your kids won't be happy.

That's catagorically untrue. If you're a prick to your children, then they won't be happy. But your reasoning seems to justify daughters seeing their mother's bedroom have a revolving door on it that puts at risk their ability to form a trusting and permanent relationship with men.

I'm not going to comment on your particulars because you aren't the one asking for advices and I don't think you're really into unsolicited commentary.

tri_2b_athlete

Jul 14, 08 20:04

Post #48 of 68 (1123 views)

Re: how long do i make him wait for....you know [Learn] [In reply to]	Can't Post

I did not pull any marriage apart. And Katy said that she is very particular about who her daughter meets and I'm not sure how anybody got the impression of a "revolving door" from what she said. This thread started as something fun and now it's been hijacked by hostile men. I'm not going to read it anymore and I wish I could figure out how to delete the whole damn thing.

Katy

Jul 14, 08 21:13

Post #49 of 68 (1099 views)

Re: how long do i make him wait for....you know [Learn] [In reply to]	Can't Post

But your reasoning seems to justify daughters seeing their mother's bedroom have a revolving door on it that puts at risk their ability to form a trusting and permanent relationship with men.

Wow, that's quite a leap. So either live a life of solitude for years or have a "revolving bedroom door" that permanently damages your kids. Good grief.

---------------------------------------
Awww, Katy's not all THAT evil. Only slightly evil. In a good way. - JasoninHalifax
If Katy wants it that way, then that's the way Katy gets it.-big kahuna

Learn

Jul 14, 08 21:51

Post #50 of 68 (1088 views)

Re: how long do i make him wait for....you know [tri_2b_athlete] [In reply to]	Can't Post

I said the line of reasoning she stated justifies that behavior in women in examples that I have witnessed. My disagreement was with the statement she made and how it gets used both in popular culture examples we all know and in cases I know about personally.

I specifically said I wouldn't comment on her situation at all and my comment didn't have anything to do with anything with anything she said about herself.

How was that not clear?

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