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confession/venting
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The Womens
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TeamBarenaked
Aug 1, 08 6:34
Post #1 of 18 (1566 views)
confession/venting
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I have never once in ten years made a single comment good or bad about my wife's haircuts.
I have been asking her for all that time to try growing it out to her shoulders or a little longer yet she still goes in & gets it cut short. So why should I compliment her on a haircut I don't like?
I have told her she doesn't have to keep it long permanently, just try it out. Shoot, I have adjusted my look at her request several times. Why can't she do the same?
DawnT
Aug 1, 08 6:41
Post #2 of 18 (1558 views)
Re: confession/venting [TeamBarenaked]
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Have you *really* asked her to grow it out or do you say something like "Hey, look at that hot woman over there with long hair! You'd look good with hair like that.".
It depends on how you ask. If you've just hinted at it, then she may not realize exactly what you're saying or how important it is to you. Why don't you sit her down, tell her she is beautiful no matter what, but that you would really love to see her with longer hair. Have a serious conversation about it and see what she says. Ask her to do it as a favor to you. Give it a timeframe so that if she doesn't like it she knows she can cut it after so many months. Good luck.
squid
Aug 1, 08 7:17
Post #3 of 18 (1533 views)
Re: confession/venting [TeamBarenaked]
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I have adjusted my look at her request several times. Why can't she do the same?
I'm with you. My gf is gradually getting her hair shorter, inspite of my stated preference for long(er). SHe says "It;s my hair, I'm the one who has to wear it and live with it". And she's right, it is her hair and her decision. She dislikes facial hair on men but if I let mine grow out a few days she lets me know about it.
TeamBarenaked
Aug 1, 08 7:36
Post #4 of 18 (1512 views)
Re: confession/venting [DawnT]
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Have you *really* asked her to grow it out or do you say something like "Hey, look at that hot woman over there with long hair! You'd look good with hair like that.".
It depends on how you ask. If you've just hinted at it, then she may not realize exactly what you're saying or how important it is to you. Why don't you sit her down, tell her she is beautiful no matter what, but that you would really love to see her with longer hair. Have a serious conversation about it and see what she says. Ask her to do it as a favor to you. Give it a timeframe so that if she doesn't like it she knows she can cut it after so many months. Good luck.
We have that exact conversation annually.
determination
Aug 1, 08 8:51
Post #5 of 18 (1465 views)
Re: confession/venting [TeamBarenaked]
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Oh I'm sorry that sucks. I feel for you. My future sister in law got her long hair cut off and all my husband could say about it was "I don't like short hair".
Thankfully I'm addicted to long hair on myself.
Can you bribe her? I mean, make it not really seem like a bribe? Maybe a bet???, with the prize being something she really really wants?
I got a boyfriend to take dance lessons that way once. I made him a bet he thought he was sure to win, and I made sure I won. He was good at the lessons, and enjoyed them.
dupeetriclub
Aug 1, 08 8:54
Post #6 of 18 (1465 views)
Re: confession/venting [TeamBarenaked]
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Maybe she truly thinks she would look ugly with long hair? Just like some women think they'd look ugly with short hair...
The bottom line is, women usually don't make 'style' adjustments for men/spouses/significant others in mind, they do it based on the judgement of other women. As ridiculous as that sounds, I believe it's true.
Do most Womens agree?
fitzie
Aug 1, 08 10:15
Post #7 of 18 (1418 views)
Re: confession/venting [squid]
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"I'm with you. My gf is gradually getting her hair shorter, inspite of my stated preference for long(er). SHe says "It;s my hair, I'm the one who has to wear it and live with it". And she's right, it is her hair and her decision. She dislikes facial hair on men but if I let mine grow out a few days she lets me know about it."
Next time you decide you don't want to shave for a few days and she says something about it, you reply, "It's my face, I'm the one who has to wear it and live with it".
Seriously, why do men put up with this crap from women? I need to be more of a bitch I guess, then maybe I would have a boyfriend!
"We thought that we had the answers, it was the questions we had wrong."
Bono
trackie clm
Aug 1, 08 10:38
Post #8 of 18 (1403 views)
Re: confession/venting [dupeetriclub]
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>>Do most Womens agree? <<
No. I cut mine off and immediately regretted it. I hate it, but all the gals say it looks good. I still hate it. Then later, a certain man told me he wished I hadn't cut it off. I'm growing it back.
http://ironclm.typepad.com
PirateGirl
Aug 1, 08 12:32
Post #9 of 18 (1368 views)
Re: confession/venting [TeamBarenaked]
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I don't know. I will never have short hair (again). I feel uncomfortable and awkward w/o my long hair. Plus I'd actually have to 'do' my hair instead of just letting it dry. She might have similar things going on. Ask her.
And growing out hair is a pain, lots of in between stages etc. It's not just a simple change and it's done.
What Am I Up To?
SaraJean
Aug 1, 08 12:58
Post #10 of 18 (1357 views)
Re: confession/venting [TeamBarenaked]
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I have told her she doesn't have to keep it long permanently, just try it out. Shoot, I have adjusted my look at her request several times. Why can't she do the same?
Growing out one's hair can be a hassle. It took me two years before mine was long enough for a pony tail. There were all sorts of in-between stages that were a nuisance.
Also, my longer hairdo requires more work in the morning than my short one did. If I don't tie it back, it gets in my way. On a few occasions, I've been eating, a breeze blew hair into my face, and I ended up with hair and food in my mouth. If I do tie it back, I sometimes get a headache.
If your wife had long hair at any point in her life, she probably experienced some of this. Ask her if she ever tried long hair and listen to what she says.
"Real winners aren't content with yesterday's victories"
JenHS
Aug 1, 08 13:16
Post #11 of 18 (1347 views)
Re: confession/venting [TeamBarenaked]
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You'd hate being married to me then :-). I have very curly hair and wore it long for most of my life then one day I decided I couldn't take the hassle anymore. It has gotten shorter and shorter as a result. My husband has said he likes my hair long but never gave me any kind of ultimatem. I have expressed that I want him to keep his beard and mustache but that is because he looks very young otherwise.
I've reached a point where I just don't want to spend a lot of time worrying about my hair and having it really short makes training easier because I can just stick my head under the sink if I can't shower. Dry off my hair with a towel, brush it with my fingers and I'm ready to go. I won't be going back to long hair.
Face is covered because I was goofing around yesterday with the new camera on the iPhone and looked like shit.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Jen
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Me
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The Boss
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Ultraman Canada Relay 2009!
squid
Aug 4, 08 7:03
Post #12 of 18 (1152 views)
Re: confession/venting [fitzie]
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Well, in her defense, she says the it itches her when we kiss and what not. I probably wouldn't like that either. However, none of my past womens ever complained about it. AS for putting up with crap like that, I do try to be flexible and compromise when I can. BTW I did decide to grow the "stash 'n tee" out for a few days. She hasn't seen it yet. :)
mmrocker13
Aug 4, 08 12:57
Post #13 of 18 (1044 views)
Re: confession/venting [TeamBarenaked]
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I don't like my husband's haircut. It's bugged me for going on 8 years now. He knows I don't like it--but it's his hair.
My husband prefers long hair. I HATE having long hair...the maintenance to keep it looking okay, the PITA to take care of it, blah blah blah.
So he keeps his hairstyle, and I keep mine. There are bigger things in life and in marriage. I mean, it's not like I'm asking him to donate a kidney or something.
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<<<<Member, 2008 Team Aquaphor. Just say No to chafing.>>>>
http://www.teamaquaphoractive.com/page275.aspx
pito00
Aug 5, 08 0:22
Post #14 of 18 (950 views)
Re: confession/venting [fitzie]
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Seriously, why do men put up with this crap from women? I need to be more of a bitch I guess, then maybe I would have a boyfriend!
Because you need to pick your battles, and facial hair isn't a battle worth fighting over, unless you're Tom Selleck or something.
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On my way up!
"Drugs are for medical conditions. Being an athlete is not a medical condition."
-Dr. W, WADA
lakercr
Aug 5, 08 10:54
Post #15 of 18 (871 views)
Re: confession/venting [TeamBarenaked]
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My wife's hair ranges from a few inches below the shoulder to fairly short, she's sporting a new look every few months. She has great style, and always looks fantastic. I'm probably not the best guy to comment on this, since I really don't have a preference WRT what length she wears it. Whatever makes Mrs. Lakercr feel the best about her image is cool with me, she'd still be a knockout with no hair at all.
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steveperx
Aug 5, 08 11:20
Post #16 of 18 (851 views)
Re: confession/venting [lakercr]
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She must be reading over your shoulder as you type. :)
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Steve Perkins
lakercr
Aug 5, 08 11:40
Post #17 of 18 (839 views)
Re: confession/venting [steveperx]
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Can you tell I want a new bike.... ;-)
Not likely she's ever going to read this.
kittycat
Aug 7, 08 5:01
Post #18 of 18 (680 views)
Re: confession/venting [TeamBarenaked]
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would her hair grow?
my husband would prefer my hair long, but it ain't gonna happen. i just cannot do it because my hair is the texture of a little girl. superfine, super straight. i gets beyond my chin and looks like sheyot.
it's all about style whatever the dynamics i have to work with.
Short hair is very in, if you don't mind my saying. maybe she just has a terrible cut, and that is the problem. but if you look on the runways, and in the fashion mags, there is alot of stylish short hair right now. i think this is a trend long coming and will stay for awhile.
but anyway...
i'm asking you about her type of hair, to know if it is even possible for her to grow it long. there are woman who have hair that should not be long. if your wife is one of them, shut up, otherwise you will make her feel really bad.
if she can grow her hair, then just say it outright. "hey babe, i think you have beautiful hair. would you grow it a little longer for me, just to try it out? your hair turns me on right now, and i want more of it."
i think if you're asking her for an image change then you do one too. maybe you both need a boost. a style makeover, including hair.
for the "compliment" topic. if she asks you what you think about her hair, you could say, "i think you have great hair. it's really beautiful hair. and that cut is good, but i think from here you should go longer and put some (whatever color) in it. change it up. your hair can do anything, so why not."
maybe you have to pretend to be gay for a minute i don't know. but just come out with it already. no matter what kind of hair someone has, change is always possible.
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