Slowtwitch Forums: The Womens: Menopause Qs

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Slowtwitch Forums: The Womens:
Menopause Qs

ttocsmi

Jun 26, 08 9:26

Post #1 of 10 (577 views)

Menopause Qs	Can't Post

Is it "normal" during menopause for a woman's desire for intamacy to drop to zero? Zip, zilch, nada. For what was once there to completely disappear? Does it ever return?

If it doesn't return, how do couples manage this suddenly lopsided relationship?

Thanks.
_

fka - something else

AndyPants

Jun 26, 08 14:24

Post #2 of 10 (517 views)

Re: Menopause Qs [sc3826] [In reply to]	Can't Post

How's your training load? Cut back, see if that helps. Otherwise go tell yer doc. AP
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AndyPantsRacing
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Co-founder of FoodSluts (TM) - where training is a warm-up to eating.

timberdick

Jun 26, 08 16:34

Post #3 of 10 (489 views)

Post deleted by timberdick [In reply to]

ttocsmi

Jun 26, 08 20:04

Post #4 of 10 (464 views)

Re: Menopause Qs [timberdick] [In reply to]	Can't Post

but that could take a long time

Greeeaaat. Thanks for the feedback. If she's not in the mood, she's not in the mood. Does the other person just accept that their sex life, too, is pretty much over?

!(@&!(*@~~~!!

_

fka - something else

timberdick

Jun 27, 08 1:56

Post #5 of 10 (443 views)

Re: Menopause Qs [sc3826] [In reply to]	Can't Post

I did not sleep well last night thinking about our problem. I was hoping more people would respond, so more opinions would be on the table. I confess I've even read S. Summers book!!!! I ripped the cover off, so no one would see me reading her book. I feel there must be an answer. I'm assuming you are married, and making this far together, through, (I'm assuming again) many difficult times, seems unfair now to have to go through this. I'm planning on talking to my doctor, when I go to america in August. Hopefully, she will have some suggestions. Medical ones. And maybe more people will have suggestions.

lesson989

Jun 27, 08 21:00

Post #6 of 10 (384 views)

Re: Menopause Qs [sc3826] [In reply to]	Can't Post

In answer to your question, yes menopause can definitely affect desire/arousal. There are other factors as well though. Feeling less sexy because of age, boredom even. I'm assuming it's not you but your partner that seems to be having the issues. Have you tried some things aimed at 'spicing' things up alittle bit? A romantic weekend getaway? Or sharing fantasies? Something different and out of your ordinary sexual habits could really put the zing back.

TriToy

Jun 28, 08 2:59

Post #7 of 10 (374 views)

Re: Menopause Qs [sc3826] [In reply to]	Can't Post

yes it's normal - the ovaries make more testosterone than estrogen - so when they are failing things shift.
there are many ways of aiding nature - from supplements to meds.....
---

cat formerly CatIsTriing
Sponsored by Suntheanine, Lycored and Celadrin
Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History --Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

JBR

Jun 30, 08 6:30

Post #8 of 10 (305 views)

Re: Menopause Qs [sc3826] [In reply to]	Can't Post

I guess we were a lucky couple... her desire dropped to zero but the good news was that she missed the fun. So she spent some time with doc and the physical chemistry is back. Thank goodness the frequency is less because those "moments" take a bit longer and are much more intense. I need the recovery time.

last tri in 83

Jun 30, 08 23:38

Post #9 of 10 (245 views)

Re: Menopause Qs [sc3826] [In reply to]	Can't Post

I debated on responding to this but what the hell, maybe it will help someone. Mrs. LT in 83 started the change at about 40, I am 2 yrs. older. It was a tough 3-4 years in many ways. First, she hardly slept during this time period which is a horrible thing to go through. Sweating attacks all night, then cold. She was sol irritable from lack of sleep and downright irrational at times. We actually lost a few sets of friends during that time from her blowing up. (we have since reconciled) My normally mild-mannered wife was a raging lunatic. It was like "that time of the month" x 3. Add to that our oldest leaving for college and she was a real mess. Suffice it to say, it was probably the toughest time in our marriage. The sex life was not good. She was not feeling good so that complicated the changing hormone situation. She was not interested. It is tough because we don't have manopause and you have the imbalance in needs. I'd have to say you have to be very patient and exercise maximum communication during this time, and don't take it personally. Your new friend goes by the initials KY.

Seven years later she is coming out of it. Not many hot flashes anymore and her mood is pretty balanced again. She is a blur of energy and initiative. She has two businesses working and is converting all that energy she used to spend on our kids to making money. She started working out like a fiend at the start of menopause and that helped her the most. She battles fat settling in new places that she never had to deal with before. She refers to it as her "rum belly" which cracks me up. She has really gotten into fashion for some reason now and she looks great. We'll be empty nesters this fall. Looking forward to what that does for the romantic life.

_____________________________________________
Atilla the Hun could rise from the dead and endorse Obama and it wouldn't faze me in the least.
--MattinSF

timberdick

Jul 1, 08 2:47

Post #10 of 10 (236 views)

Re: Menopause Qs [last tri in 83] [In reply to]	Can't Post

Are you my husband? You are describing me? How scary is that> It's so difficult to put into words how the whole menopause thing makes one feel. and you did it. Maybe reading a man describe it makes it different. Thank you very much. It does help. And the part about "fat" appearing in new places......hate that!!!. Seven Years!!! Your wife is a very strong woman. And you must be a very strong man. Thanks again