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"As God Is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly"
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Wolfwood
Nov 23, 06 18:01
Post #1 of 23 (675 views)
"As God Is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly"
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Cincinnati, OH--An advertising stunt dreamed up by a local Cincinnati radio station went terribly wrong when twenty live turkeys plummeted to their deaths after being dropped out of a helicopter under the misguided assumption that they would all just fly away.
"The turkeys were hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement," stated Les Nessman, who reported the event live for station WKRP from the parking lot of the Pinedale Shopping Mall.
"It was just terrible. People started to panic and were running around the parking lot screaming. One of the turkeys even went right through the windshield of a parked car."
Station Manager Arthur Carlson took full responsibility for the chaos caused by the Thanksgiving Day promotion, claiming that "as God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." The station promised to reimburse anybody who suffered property damage as a result of this stunt.
WKRP is a "beautiful music" station that ranks 16th in the 18 station Cincinnati market. They are currently considering a format change in hopes of boosting their dismal ratings.
Link to video report
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go so slow
Nov 23, 06 18:59
Post #2 of 23 (656 views)
Re: "As God Is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly" [Wolfwood]
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one of the greatest lines ever uttered
Jacki&Boudreaux
Nov 23, 06 21:18
Post #3 of 23 (627 views)
Re: "As God Is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly" [Wolfwood]
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Obviously a city boy. If he would of released wild turkeys, the outcome would have been different.
Ivan
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Cogito Ergo Zoom
Helitech
Nov 24, 06 4:09
Post #4 of 23 (601 views)
Re: "As God Is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly"
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I thought turkeys was a euphemism for some elected officials . But it appears P.E.T.A will have some year long trials to convict all involved .
Bluefan75
Nov 24, 06 4:53
Post #5 of 23 (590 views)
Re: "As God Is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly" [Wolfwood]
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I was going to post Carlson in the sitcom character thread, with that as my justification. thanks for stealing my thunder!!..:-)
All kidding aside, that is like someone else one of the greatest lines ever.
"I can endure more pain than anyone you've ever met. That's why I can beat anyone I've ever met." Steve Prefontaine, Without Limits
sphere
Nov 24, 06 4:57
Post #6 of 23 (589 views)
Re: "As God Is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly" [Wolfwood]
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Something doesn't add up. Did they have an enormous helicopter that opened a hatch and dumped a cratefull of birds all at once or did they chuck one out at a time from a smaller private wrent-a-wreck model? Seems unlikely that someone tossing one bird at a time wouldn't have noticed them crashing through windshields & splatting on sidewalks before lobbing out all twenty.
What was that TV show where they released a Galapagos tortise out into the ocean to set it free? As God as my witness, I thought turtles could swim!
Irrigation stops a smelt's beating heart
slo-mo
Nov 24, 06 5:07
Post #7 of 23 (585 views)
Re: "As God Is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly" [sphere]
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Cincinnati's the place where Larry Flynt got busted for porno, where the Mapplethorp exhibition was pulled ... and where there ought to be criminal charges for animal abuse filed against the radio station owner and all his underlings. Didn't know my ass. Put all of 'em in the pokey where they belong.
kittycat
Nov 24, 06 5:48
Post #8 of 23 (572 views)
Re: "As God Is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly" [Wolfwood]
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my husband said that line about 20 times yesterday.
kittycat
Nov 24, 06 5:50
Post #9 of 23 (569 views)
Re: "As God Is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly" [slo-mo]
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Cincinnati's the place where Larry Flynt got busted for porno, where the Mapplethorp exhibition was pulled ... and where there ought to be criminal charges for animal abuse filed against the radio station owner and all his underlings. Didn't know my ass. Put all of 'em in the pokey where they belong.
it was from a 1970's/early 80's (?) sit-com called WKRP in Cincinnati. and at the time it was hilarious. still is!
watch the video on youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/...search=WKRP%20turkey
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slo-mo
Nov 24, 06 5:56
Post #10 of 23 (564 views)
Re: "As God Is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly" [kittycat]
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I can't watch anything being hurt, but I'll believe you. Call me gullible (and maybe squeamish too). Didn't stop me from having turkey, stuffing and gravy with cranberry sauce (and a splash of cabernet) for breakfast, though. mmm. Pre-workout meal par excellence.
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hillier99
Nov 24, 06 8:14
Post #11 of 23 (526 views)
Re: "As God Is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly" [slo-mo]
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I can't watch anything being hurt, but I'll believe you. Call me gullible (and maybe squeamish too). Didn't stop me from having turkey, stuffing and gravy with cranberry sauce (and a splash of cabernet) for breakfast, though. mmm. Pre-workout meal par excellence.
IT'S NOT REAL!!!! It was a sitcom episode. You don't see anything, just Les's "Hindenburg disaster" style reporting.
It is one of the all time classic TV moments. Watch the youtube clip. You won't regret it (and it's the first thing you'll think of every time Thanksgiving is mentioned for the rest of your life!)
Brad
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MOP Triathlete
FOP Dad
slowguy
Nov 24, 06 8:20
Post #12 of 23 (523 views)
Re: "As God Is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly" [hillier99]
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Carlson set the standard for the TV Sitcom "clueless boss" character. Awesome show. Right there with Welcome Back Kotter.
Slowguy
(insert pithy phrase here...)
parkito
Nov 24, 06 12:46
Post #13 of 23 (476 views)
Re: "As God Is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly" [Bluefan75]
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Did anyone else think that the Bailey Quarters character was far hotter than the blond (Jennifer?). I had a major crush on the character for ages.
Behold the turtle! He makes progess only when he sticks his neck out. (
James Bryant Conant
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GET OFF THE F*%KING WALL!!!!!!! (
Doug Stern
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Brevity is the soul of wit. (
William Shakespeare
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steveperx
Nov 24, 06 13:13
Post #14 of 23 (470 views)
Re: "As God Is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly" [parkito]
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Ah yes... the "naughty librarian" look. Bailey was hot.
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Steve Perkins
dbh1
Nov 24, 06 14:07
Post #15 of 23 (455 views)
Re: "As God Is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly" [parkito]
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ABSOLUTELY!
And I thought Mary Ann was a lot hotter than Ginger, too.
kittycat
Nov 24, 06 14:28
Post #16 of 23 (445 views)
Re: "As God Is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly" [dbh1]
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i had a crush on Jonny Fever.
GOKARTN
Nov 24, 06 14:31
Post #17 of 23 (444 views)
Re: "As God Is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly" [kittycat]
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Classic Stuff
__________________________________________________
Yeah, now I'm blogging too
hillier99
Nov 24, 06 17:20
Post #18 of 23 (419 views)
Re: "As God Is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly" [dbh1]
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ABSOLUTELY!
And I thought Mary Ann was a lot hotter than Ginger, too.
Yeah, yeah.... Don't forget Betty was hotter than Veronica...
Brad
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MOP Triathlete
FOP Dad
spot
Nov 24, 06 17:27
Post #19 of 23 (414 views)
Re: "As God Is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly" [parkito]
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Bailey was a total babe. Jennifer was too plasticky looking.
That show was hysterical, from Les Nesman with his yellow tape "walls", to the hideous suits the salesman wore. Pure classic.
Spot
"Are you Finman enough?"
My blogs: www.georgeraihalaphotography.blogspot.com
wwww.eatdrinkandbemerrywithspot.blogspot.com
Bob Loblaw
Nov 24, 06 21:44
Post #20 of 23 (380 views)
Re: "As God Is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly" [Wolfwood]
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you know, this is the third time I've seen that line quoted on slowtwitch.
dbh1
Nov 25, 06 14:31
Post #21 of 23 (344 views)
Re: "As God Is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly" [hillier99]
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I was always a Veronica fan, the long dark hair really does it for me (not that there's anything wrong with Betty, though).
And I always thought Velma was hotter than Daphne, especially in the latest movies.
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OCTriGeek
Nov 27, 06 9:12
Post #22 of 23 (239 views)
Re: "As God Is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly" [spot]
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That show was hysterical, from Les Nesman with his yellow tape "walls", to the hideous suits the salesman wore. Pure classic.
- Herb Tarlick. Great character.
I also loved that Les always, ALWAYS had a bandaid on his hands, fingers, face, somewhere.
EWH
Nov 27, 06 14:16
Post #23 of 23 (187 views)
Re: "As God Is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly" [OCTriGeek]
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Herb was awesome, white shoes, polyester suit. Loved that show.
Herb: "this suit says 'you can trust me, I'm your guy'"
Venus: You know what that suit says to me? Do not adjust your television set.
Great show.
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