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Stupid Things Your C-Suite Say (CEO, COO, CMO, CTO, etc)
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Hid
May 8, 08 13:41
Post #1 of 88 (1906 views)
Stupid Things Your C-Suite Say (CEO, COO, CMO, CTO, etc)
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/rant on
Candidly - so does this mean you aren't telling the truth if you don't say "candidly?"
Bullish - I certainly hope so or why are you one of the people leading this company
Win win situation - just complete lame. I would hope the business plan would put them in a beneficial possition.
Honestly - Again, are they lying when they don't mention this work?
Traction - Oh boy we have traction in the market. Were we sliding or sliping before?
All hands on deck - yeah, we already work more than you anyway (This isn't always the case).
/rant off
I could go on for quite a whilte but want to hear what others experience.
"it's like information without the facts." - Mr. Tibbs
"it's not posted to a triathlon forum, but to a lifestyle forum that happens to be inhabited by triathletes. all kinds of stuff gets posted here, and i'm grateful that it does. - Dan Empfield aka Slowman
http://forum.slowtwitch.com/...0what%20to%20;#65849
Al P Duez
May 8, 08 13:54
Post #2 of 88 (1889 views)
Re: Stupid Things Your C-Suite Say (CEO, COO, CMO, CTO, etc) [Hid]
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As a COO, honestly, I use bullshit more than bullish; if it is a "win/win" and I win more then it's a win; the only traction I know of is the traction on the bottom of the shoe I am kicking your ass with; and lastly, I have never used the "all hands on deck" phrase and opt for, "In here walks the assets of our company so get your assets in gear." Please pardon my candor.
(This post was
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lunchbox
May 8, 08 13:56
Post #3 of 88 (1883 views)
Re: Stupid Things Your C-Suite Say (CEO, COO, CMO, CTO, etc) [Hid]
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Simple request of your boss or HR to get something done greeted with: "we'll have to partner on that". Just make a damned decision!
******************************
If I don't, who will?
(This post was
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Marco in BC
May 8, 08 15:21
Post #4 of 88 (1831 views)
Re: Stupid Things Your C-Suite Say (CEO, COO, CMO, CTO, etc) [Hid]
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was that the ibm commercial that had the gal with the 'buzzword bingo' card?
--
A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.
(This post was
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by Marco in BC on May 8, 08 15:22)
jfm225
May 8, 08 15:27
Post #5 of 88 (1822 views)
Re: Stupid Things Your C-Suite Say (CEO, COO, CMO, CTO, etc) [Hid]
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A real specific example:
Years ago our CEO (of an enterprise software company - and, at that time mainframe software that sold for about $135K a pop) addressed a user group gathering of hundreds and informed them that the price of the software would not go up significantly as the development costs had already been amortized and in his words, "Hey, what the hell, it only costs us $29.95 to cut another tape and mail it out, so we do have a pretty good profit margin." The silence was amazing as our VP of Marketing tried to hustle him off the stage....
John F. Martin, Jr.
+1 (614) 403-0567
jfm225@gmail.com
malcoda
May 8, 08 16:03
Post #6 of 88 (1795 views)
Re: Stupid Things Your C-Suite Say (CEO, COO, CMO, CTO, etc) [Hid]
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"Traction - Oh boy we have traction in the market. Were we sliding or sliping before?"
Next time they use that one give them a puzzled look and say "Traction... so the company is broken and a doctor has
immobilized
it, how is that a good thing?"
"I got more rhymes than Phyllis Diller!"
Beastie Boys
Katy
May 8, 08 16:18
Post #7 of 88 (1783 views)
Re: Stupid Things Your C-Suite Say (CEO, COO, CMO, CTO, etc) [Hid]
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Don't really hear this kind of stuff. I work for smart people (at least in upper management). Immediate management leaves a lot to be desired.
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http://web.mac.com/kjossy
Awww, Katy's not all THAT evil. Only slightly evil. In a good way. - JasoninHalifax
If Katy wants it that way, then that's the way Katy gets it.-big kahuna
Lazy Ben
May 8, 08 16:51
Post #8 of 88 (1768 views)
Re: Stupid Things Your C-Suite Say (CEO, COO, CMO, CTO, etc) [Hid]
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Once upon a time I worked for an IT services company. The new CEO at one point got a bee in his bonnet about re-imagining the company or somesuch bollocks and started holding ridiculous town hall meetings and sending out emails containing loads of this meaningless nonsense. I used to make text screensavers out of the emails and leave them on when I went to the pub for lunch for an hour or four. My boss found this highly amusing...at least I think that's why he was turning purple...
Forget speedwork. Speedwork is the icing on the cake and you don't have a cake yet. - MattinSF
jenhs
May 8, 08 20:44
Post #9 of 88 (1690 views)
Re: Stupid Things Your C-Suite Say (CEO, COO, CMO, CTO, etc) [Hid]
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I work on software and it is stunning the amount of crap that floats around the hallways. I had someone tell me that one of the milestones for a marketing doc I was working on should be an "ideation". WTF?? I gave him a bunch of crap about it and he wasn't happy. I was.
Win win is another super annoying one.
My husband works at the same company and right now I don't have an office so we share one. We get laughing over the emails we get. Occasionally he looks up and realizes he's talking exactly like "them". He works with Director level guys all the time and in the company they pride themselves on how little meaning they can pack into a single sentence. And they take it so seriously and all seem to be quite proud of it.
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Jenhs
bobbyjoe
May 8, 08 21:59
Post #10 of 88 (1673 views)
Re: Stupid Things Your C-Suite Say (CEO, COO, CMO, CTO, etc) [Hid]
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Leverage
End to end
Solution architecture
Out of the loop
Buy-in
Stakeholder
Core competence
Take that offline
Knowledge base
Milestone
Black box
Value added
Touch base
At the end of the day
David in FL
May 9, 08 4:55
Post #11 of 88 (1641 views)
Re: Stupid Things Your C-Suite Say (CEO, COO, CMO, CTO, etc) [Hid]
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Buzzwords can be somewhat amusing, but they also communicate a specific meaning within the general corporate environment or within your unique corporate culture.
If you have any desire of some day ascending to the executive suite yourself, or at least gaining recognition from those that are there, I'd recommend learning to "talk the talk". Ooops, there's another one....
"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a grey twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
Theodore Roosevelt
Mr_Pink
May 9, 08 5:46
Post #12 of 88 (1619 views)
Re: Stupid Things Your C-Suite Say (CEO, COO, CMO, CTO, etc) [Hid]
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Over the course of the last week I've heard:
Individual contributor
Managing expectations -- and --
Working through others
For me, these are enough to grind my teeth over. With Honestly.... As soon as I hear this I don't believe anything that person says. Ever.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart!?!
c r k
May 9, 08 10:07
Post #13 of 88 (1537 views)
Re: Stupid Things Your C-Suite Say (CEO, COO, CMO, CTO, etc) [Hid]
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My current favorites:
due diligence
proactive
I have never met anyone who uses these terms who actually exercises "due diligence" or is "proactive".
Carl King
Al P Duez
May 9, 08 10:11
Post #14 of 88 (1532 views)
Re: Stupid Things Your C-Suite Say (CEO, COO, CMO, CTO, etc) [c r k]
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How about performing "due diligence." I do it often for prospective business acquisitions. Honestly, many of these business colloquialisms are value added and have a place.
Katy
May 9, 08 10:26
Post #15 of 88 (1516 views)
Re: Stupid Things Your C-Suite Say (CEO, COO, CMO, CTO, etc) [c r k]
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Due diligence is not a buzz word. It's a huge part of my job.
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http://web.mac.com/kjossy
Awww, Katy's not all THAT evil. Only slightly evil. In a good way. - JasoninHalifax
If Katy wants it that way, then that's the way Katy gets it.-big kahuna
MonicaB
May 9, 08 10:29
Post #16 of 88 (1513 views)
Re: Stupid Things Your C-Suite Say (CEO, COO, CMO, CTO, etc) [Al P Duez]
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I agree. My title is Director of Due Diligence. :)
steveperx
May 9, 08 10:32
Post #17 of 88 (1509 views)
Re: Stupid Things Your C-Suite Say (CEO, COO, CMO, CTO, etc) [Hid]
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Not "C" Level, but when I was in private practice, we had a high tech client, and the in-house lawyer always wanted to "get some bandwidth" with me, his boss, the CEO, etc. ... meaning he wanted to have a meeting. Interestingly, this was a streaming media company, so "bandwidth" (in it's usual use) was an important term there.
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Steve Perkins
c r k
May 9, 08 11:00
Post #18 of 88 (1480 views)
Re: Stupid Things Your C-Suite Say (CEO, COO, CMO, CTO, etc) [Al P Duez]
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You are right - value added is value added.
Carl King
saltman
May 9, 08 12:33
Post #19 of 88 (1447 views)
Re: Stupid Things Your C-Suite Say (CEO, COO, CMO, CTO, etc) [bobbyjoe]
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1 - "At the end of the day" - far and away number 1!
2 - "From my perspective" - when you are C Level, you shouldn't have to qualify your statements
3 - "Synergy"
4 - "Migration" - if you work in an acquisition intense environment
5 - "Material" - as in material adverse change, material deviation, material issue, material event, usually useed in connection with a negative qualifier. So isn't it just a canned word for the absence of relevence? And if something is irrelevent, why do we we even bother mentioning it?
The answer........
6 - CYA - gotta learn to
cover your ass
!
I am guilty of all these, with the exception of synergy. I despise that word and all forms of it.
kfc_bob
May 9, 08 12:56
Post #20 of 88 (1435 views)
Re: Stupid Things Your C-Suite Say (CEO, COO, CMO, CTO, etc) [Hid]
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My fave "Drink the Koolaid" .. like its a good/necessary team-building kind of a thing.
WTF? Don't people even remember where that phrase originated?
jenhs
May 9, 08 13:20
Post #21 of 88 (1415 views)
Re: Stupid Things Your C-Suite Say (CEO, COO, CMO, CTO, etc) [kfc_bob]
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A "come to Jesus" meeting. Love that one. It is one step above in urgency and difficulty than the KoolAid meeting.
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Jenhs
lilpups
May 9, 08 13:31
Post #22 of 88 (1406 views)
Re: Stupid Things Your C-Suite Say (CEO, COO, CMO, CTO, etc) [Hid]
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"low hanging fruit" - unless I'm a farm worker I don't want to pick any low hanging fruit.
Here's the buzzword bingo game - my old coworkers and I used to play it during the semi-annual company-wide meeting at my old company that was run eerily like "The Office" - it was even in PA! No small wonder I now work for myself:
http://isd.usc.edu/~karl/Bingo/
The real life of a small-time entrepreneur:
http://enrepreneurrollercoaster.blogspot.com/
Bluefan75
May 9, 08 18:24
Post #23 of 88 (1374 views)
Re: Stupid Things Your C-Suite Say (CEO, COO, CMO, CTO, etc) [Hid]
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Not necessarily C level(although it probably fed down from there), but we were in a training session about a new guide or something that was being put out, and we were told that the document would be "evergreen." Finally after about 3 questions, and sufficient feeling by the guy talking that he was so much smarter than everyone else, he said it would be update constantly as things changed.
When I worked at a bank in a sales position, we were told to take a "holistic" approach to a client's business.
"I can endure more pain than anyone you've ever met. That's why I can beat anyone I've ever met." Steve Prefontaine, Without Limits
Lactone
May 10, 08 9:38
Post #24 of 88 (1323 views)
Re: Stupid Things Your C-Suite Say (CEO, COO, CMO, CTO, etc) [Bluefan75]
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"Evergreen" is ridiclulous on many levels. For one, it could just as easily be interpreted to mean that the document won't change (i.e., evergreens don't respond to the seasons and regenerate with changing colors, loss of leaves, etc). If someone used the term "evergreen" in a meeting with me I'd take that person offline for a come-to-jesus meeting to explain how - at the end of the day - that word offers no value-add in our synergystic culture. Further, it hordes dynamic bandwidth and impedes our ability to bring resources to bear. If that person was unavailable for discussion, I'd need to reach out and circle back to close the loop. Then I would quietly go kill myself.
lunchbox
May 10, 08 9:51
Post #25 of 88 (1319 views)
Re: Stupid Things Your C-Suite Say (CEO, COO, CMO, CTO, etc) [Lactone]
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at least you're taking one for the team by killing yourself
******************************
If I don't, who will?
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