Putting together a flyer. I know there is a grammatical error, but I'm not entirely sure what the fix is.
Here's the original quote:
We are Newark, De's premier heavy metal cover band!!! Covering songs from such bands as Pantera, Slayer, Metallica, Slipkot and many, many more!!!
I know the econd sentence is a fragment, and I'm pretty sure there should be a comma after De's. Also, I think it would be better not to do this in the first person. It gives the illusion that someone else is promoting us.
This is what I was thinking:
[Band name at top]
[picture]
Newark's premier heavy metal cover band playing songs from Pantera, Slayer, Metallica, Slipknot, and many, many more!!!
Thanks in advance smart people!
-----------------------------Baron Von Speedypants
-----------------------------RunTraining articles here:
http://forum.slowtwitch.com/...runtraining;#1612485
Here's the original quote:
Quote:
We are Newark, De's premier heavy metal cover band!!! Covering songs from such bands as Pantera, Slayer, Metallica, Slipkot and many, many more!!!
I know the econd sentence is a fragment, and I'm pretty sure there should be a comma after De's. Also, I think it would be better not to do this in the first person. It gives the illusion that someone else is promoting us.
This is what I was thinking:
Quote:
[Band name at top]
[picture]
Newark's premier heavy metal cover band playing songs from Pantera, Slayer, Metallica, Slipknot, and many, many more!!!
Thanks in advance smart people!
-----------------------------Baron Von Speedypants
-----------------------------RunTraining articles here:
http://forum.slowtwitch.com/...runtraining;#1612485